Life Is Too Short
by siriusloverlollipops
Summary: Has anyone ever explained to you how the girl of his dreams came to be? Charlie cam out of no where, to steal his heart. But sometimes the saying of "Life Is Too Short" shouldn't go unnoticed. Rating to be safe :
1. Let's Start From The Beginning Shall We?

_**A/N: Hey, this story just popped into my head one day and I had to get it out of there.  
I don't own anything that is owned by Warner Bros. or J.K Rowling (what a genius hey?)  
The bold texts throughout the story are the flashbacks to when Sirius and Harry are speaking to each other. (You'll know what I'm talking about here when you read it)  
Hope you enjoy it :)**_

It was Harry Potter's fifth Christmas break, his first, when he started at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when he was eleven years old. This Christmas, Harry, Ron and Hermione had come to spend Christmas at Grimauld place, the house of Harry's God-Father, Sirius Black.

Harry and Ron had spent the holidays in one of the empty rooms. After the Christmas celebrations, Harry was getting ready to return to Hogwarts, which was in many ways, his home. A week before Harry had a sudden surge of exploring the house of which his God-Father had spent the first fifteen years of his life in. Sirius Black was frowned upon in his family in his younger age. First being sorted into Gryffindor, when all of the past Black's had been put into Slytherin, then voicing his opinion about non- pureblood domination to his parents. Sirius ran away from his home in his fifth year of Hogwarts. He went to live with Harry's father, his best friend.

When Harry asked Sirius if he could search the house, Sirius could just looked wide-eyed and nodded numbly. Nothing in _this_ house was worth looking at with respect or wonder.

Harry was hesitant at first, standing outside his God-Father's room. Sirius had agreed for Harry to search 'the house'. In Harry's mind, that statement didn't sound like it had any restrictions. So placing a hand on the door, he softly pushed it open. Harry couldn't help but to smile, if he hadn't had to live with his muggle aunt and uncle, if Harry had been raised by a magical family, this is what he imagined his room would have looked like. The walls of Sirius's room were covered in posters of various Quidditch teams and Gryffindor banners. Harry was so pleased; this looked like a genially happy room, one he would have lived in any day.

Harry walked into the room; happiness was all that he could feel. But as he looked closer at the walls, he noticed that they were damaged. Someone had desperately wanted these posters down. There were even scratch marks around some of the Gryffindor banners.

On the right side of the room there was a hole in the wall, Harry walked over, clenched his fist and then compared it to the hole, his fist fit perfectly inside. The happiness Harry felt, dimmed a little. He had always known that Sirius hadn't had the best up-brining that he could have asked for, but he had no idea that it was that bad. But then again, Harry, himself had almost put a few holes in the Dursley's house, His aunt and uncle

Harry peeled his eyes away from the wall and onto to other things in the room. His eyes skimmed the chests placed on the floor, the big wardrobe that stood next to the window. All of the things in the room had the Black family crest on it.

Harry's eyes reared to a stop as he looked at the bed-side table. Unlike everything else in the room, the table-top was cleared of everything, all except one thing.

Harry made his way over to the small table, and picked up the photo frame that was perched on top of it. The frame was gold and had a delicate pattern on it, but that wasn't what Harry was looking at. The photo in the frame was what caught his attention. Harry sat down on the bed and looked at it closer.

The photo, like all photo's and paintings in the wizarding world, was moving. It was snowing, and Harry immediately recognized the scenery of being the main street of Hogsmeade, the wizarding town just a few miles form Hogwarts. In the picture there was a single girl. Her light, straight, brown hair covered by a beanie. Her cheeks red from the cold, and her soft green eyes staring straight into the camera. She stood there laughing until she was hit with a snowball, which Harry assumed came from the person behind the camera. Her eyes turned wide with excited shock as she threw a snowball back, aiming for the photographer, but hitting the camera lens instead.

Harry jumped back to reality with a soft knock on the bedroom door. Harry looked up to see his God-Father leaning against the door frame, his eyes locked on the photo in Harry's hands.

Before Harry could apologize for being in his room and explaining himself, Sirius removed himself from the door frame and went to sit next to Harry, his eyes still on the photo.

After a minute's silence of both pair of eyes locked on the girl's face, Harry decided to speak.

"Who is she?" he asked, his eyes staring into Sirius'

"She was the love of my life, Harry." He replied with a heavy sigh.

"What's her name?"

"Her name was Charlie Emmanuel Potter... She was your father's younger sister."

Harry's eyes became so wide that he thought they'd pop out.

"This is my Aunt?"

Sirius' eyes went to Harry's for the first time. "'Was' was the key term in what I just said Harry."

"She's –" Harry struggled to get the word out, although he'd think that he should be used to it by now. "Dead?"

Sirius sighed again.

"My dad's sister. Then she must've gone to Hogwarts?"

"Charlie was a year younger than your father."

"Then she went to school with you - and Lupin - and my parents," he stopped, he remembered one name which he said with a bitter tone. "And Snape"

Sirius chuckled at Harry's tone. "Yes she did."

"But how did she-?" Harry had so many questions, that he was almost exploding from them.

Sirius let in a deep breath, and placed his hands on top of Harry's. "Let's start from the beginning, shall we?"

_**A/N: So what do you think? Please say something, even if you want to tell me that you don't like it.**_

I'm still trying to work out the proper storyline for this, so don't get angry with me, please, patience is the key.

Thankyou everyone :)


	2. Trains And Teasers

_**Hi! I'm so glad that people enjoyed the first chapter, and I hope that you like this one as well.**_

_**Just so that people don't get confused, from this chapter onwards, the scene is set in the marauder era and it's all in Sirius' POV. **_

_**By the way I am not J.K Rowling, unfortuantely, but hey we all have to be someone.**_

_**I hope you like it…**_

2: Trains and Teasers

No one ever really saw Charlie up close, only from affar. That's probably why even I didn't see that much of her.

I arrived at the Potter's in the middle of my fifth year. My brother, Regulus, had told my parents about a prank my friends and I had pulled on the Slytherin house (the house I was supposed to get into, according to my parents). They didn't receive the news well, they disowned me, but little did they know, that I had disowned them a long time ago.

Living with James Potter – my best friend - and his family, I had had the childhood that I thought I had always deserved. I would receive loving smiles from every member of the house, and could now say that I had truly felt what it was like to be loved as a son or brother.

The members of the Black household were all a bit shocked after I left my house. They had all seen it coming, but continued to make a big deal about it. The negotiations about my possesions had taken a long time, I rarely saw the Potter's for the rest of my fifth year. But thing's died down and by the time my sixth year rolled around I was living comfortably in the Potter household.

But even then I didn't see much of her. She kept to her room, and in the holidays before her sixth year she had taken a trip to a singing camp. So you could say that I was a bit taken aback when I stepped off the train after my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The train trip was over and so was my sixth year of Hogwarts. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I climbed down onto the magical platform 9 ¾. From behind me I could hear the familiar sounds of my friends.

James Potter was in more than one ways my brother and my closest friend. I could go to him whenever I needed to. He and I were the kind of ringleaders of the group, the directors of the play. He was the most confident, kindest person I had ever met. He only ever fell apart when he was around one person, and that was his "soulmate" - as he liked to call her - the forever unattainable Lily Evans. He had been calling her that ever since third grade. He had always done the wrong things when she was around. But I didn't mind it was a rather funny and entertaining routine to watch. But I knew that it was hurting him more than he let on.

Remus Lupin, we had found out about him and his "other half" when we were in the middle of our third year (that was a very eventful year for us). He had come right out and said it, always thinking of different outcomes. "I'm a werewolf." There he had told us and we had told him that we'd never let him down. Where James and I were the directors, Remus was the script writter. He had always been the man behind the set up and the master mind of the prank. To him we were grateful. This quiet and reserved boy kept Jame's and I out of trouble just as much as he let us make it. He was someone I could always confide in (and get answers off).

Then there was Peter. Peter Pettigrew wandered up to us one day in the second year and asked us if he could join us. That was it, he sat down with us one day and stuck. It was kind of weird how he looked up to James, Remus and I like we were three heavenly gods, but it was a bit funny as well. Not smart, not good-looking but he could make you feel better when you needed cheering up.

We all got off the scarlet steam engine one by one. Once we all had our feet firmly on solid ground, we turned and faced one another. James started.

"So my place over the holidays, right?" he said looking expectantly around the group.

Remus and I nodded while Peter bowed his head a little and diverted his attention to the ground. "Ohh, what is it Pete, I thought we had this sorted out ages ago."

Peter looked up at the three of us and sighed. "I know, I know. But my Mum made some last minute holiday plans, we're going to be in Egypt for the whole holidays."

He looked around the group again, this time stopping on James. We had been making our way slowly to where the parents stood. James was looking over Remus's head, he was only barely listening to the conversation that was taking place.

I followed his eyes. I recognized the back of Lily Evan's red haired head immediately, I sighed, as did all of us, but then I smiled, knowing that this was going to be good. Remus, on the other hand, was, as always, thinking of the many consequences of what James was planning to do.

"James… don't" Remus said. Already realising that he was trying at a lost cause.

"Excuse me for a minute boys." James said as he dissapeared into the sea of people leaking out of the Hogwarts Express.

No more than a minute had passed before we heard the familiar screaching voice of Lily Evans.

"JAMES POTTER I WILL NEVER, EVER GO OUT WITH YOU!! WHEN WILL YOU GIVE UP?!" With that Lily stormed off to where her parents were both waiting for her, smiles on their faces and their heads shaking whilst looking upon their daughter standing up for herself.

James returned to us, smile on his face that, I was sure, only went skin deep and picked up with the conversation as if nothing had passed. "Egypt ay?" he said looking at Pete. "Oh well, have fun. Moony you still in?" Remus nodded his head whilst searching for his parents.

"Yep, I'll be there." He said his good-bye's after he had seen his parents, as did Peter. So it was just James and I that stood on the platform, looking for Mr and Mrs Potter.

It didn't take long to find them, a tall, dark haired man stood next to a bespectacled, short woman. James and I made our way over to them, they were on there way towards us as well.

"James!Sirius!" Mrs Potter said as she squeezed us into a warm embrace. "How are you?"

James pulled away from his mother. "Mum, it's been what two days since you owled us both? Two days, Mum, not two years."

Mrs Potter gave a small tut as she let go of us and began her search for the other Potter.

I shook Mr Potter's hand, when I let go, he sighed in relief, looking over my shoulder. "Finally. Can we go now?"

I looked over my shoulder and followed the sound of laughter. Charlie Potter had to be one of the most beautiful girls that Hogwarts had ever seen. Her brown, soft, straight hair ran almost to her hips and she had the most mesmirising green eyes, which she had ways of making stand out. This was the first time I had seen her since the start-of-year feast, her having been away for Christmas.

Her mother caught her eye and waved for her to come to her so that they could leave the station. Charlie nodded her head, hugged her best friend and my cousin, Nymphadora Tonks, and then made her way over to us. James got to her before she got to us. Interested, I followed.

"Charlie you know what I was thinking…" James said in a matter-of-fact tone. Charlie stopped mid-step.

"No James, no more tests." She told him sternly, as if she spoke to a five year old.

I knew at once what James was asking. Besides pranks needed to be tested out on someone before the grand opening, didn't they? The conversation continued as we made our way out of the platform and towards the Potter's car.

"Ohh, what went so wrong the last time?" James asked, obviously he could think of nothing.

"Last time you turned my skin fluro pink, for a week!" Charlie said. "James. Look at me. No, you're just going to have to find another guinea pig."

"Ohh, come on Charlie, Sirius and I don't think of you as a guinea pig…" he said before taking a deep breath to prepare himself for what was about to come. "we think of you more like a lab rat."

Charlie stood dead still to let her mind process what James had just said, before running after him till they got to the car.

As I was walking after them, all I could think of was how good these holiday's were going to be.

_**So there you go, I hope you like it, please let me know if you did…**_

_**I don't know where this going, but I have a general idea…**_

_**Thanks!**_


	3. Most People Just Didn't Know

_**Sorry for the wait. I have been re-reading this one a lot. I desperately hope that you all like it, if not; I'm always open to critism.  
Once again, I am not, and am in no way related to J.K Rowling  
I hope you like it...**_

3: Most People Just Didn't Know

The Potter's home had to be seen to be believed. On the outside it looked like just a normal two-story sized house. But with most things in the magical world, it was not what it appeared to be.

I steped into the house after Mr and Mrs Potter, warm air flowing over me as if it had been poured from a bucket. As soon as you stepped in through the front door you where in the houses main hall way. It seemed like it went on forever, but eventually stopped and formed stairs. The stairs led to the bedrooms and bathrooms as well as a small family room.

I could smell dinner cooking so I made my way down the hall to the kitchen. As an extension from the kitchen there was a study. The study and the dining room were seperated by large glass doors... I rather enjoyed this setup, being able to see the rest of the family members. The Potter house was one of complete happiness.

James and I stepped into the kitchen. Mrs Potter was already serving up dinner and Mr Potter was sitting down at the table, James joined his father. James looked a lot like his father, they were both reasonably tall and had the same untidy, black hiar. James had, unfourtuantely inherited his mother's eyesight. And Charlie, well, I once asked James why she looked so different, he said that she got the hair fom his grandfather, and her eyes was a mixture of the whole family.

James and his father immediately engaged in conversation. When I joined them I realised that they were speaking about Lily.

"James, you know you shouldn't get a woman that angry escpecially if she's a teenager." Mr Potter said with a slightly serious but joking tone.

James just laughed slightly and told his father that he's not going to give up that easily.

I sat there watching the evening routine taking place. James and his father at the table joking and laughing, Mrs Potter hurrying around the open kitchen and putting plates on tables, and I was comparing these happenings taking place under the roof of the Black household, it made me shiver to think how different people could live in the same world, or even go to the same school. There was one more thing happening that I had rarely experienced. Mrs Potter looked up from the table, noticing something she turned towards the door to the hallway.

"Charlie, dinner's on… right now!" she called into the air.

I listened as the stairs shook slightly as Charlie skipped down them. She entered the kitchen and took a seat opposite James. Her eyes sweeped the room, as if she was taking it all in for the first time.

I felt a strange twinge in the pit of my stomach as she smiled at a joke her father had made. I pulled my eyes away from her and started talking to James and Mr Potter.

Dinner went to quickly for my liking, a toast had been made for the return of James, Charlie and I. And I found it hard to believe that we were at Hogwarts only that morning. It felt like I had lived in this house all my life (I desperately wished for that to be true).

After dinner the residents of the house split up so that they could go about their evening plans. Mr and Mrs Potter went into the study. Aaron and Emillia Potter were two of the most respected Aurors in the Ministry of Magic. James looked up to his parents as role models, heroes, so did I. They were kind, generous, decent people and I was happy to be there son's best friend.

James and I went up the stairs and into our room. The Potter's had offered me the spare room, but James insited that they set up another bed in his room.

I crossed the threshold of James' room. It looked a lot like mine had back at Grimauld Place. There were Griffyndor banners and Quidditch posters covering the walls. His parents had cleaned his room whilst we were at Hogwarts but I was ninety-nine point nine nine percent sure that it would be back to it's normal disgracefully grubby, welcoming site in a couple of days. Although I loved Hogwarts like a home, this place wasn't just a house, it was a home, and it was good to be back.

Our trunks were sitting at the ends of our beds, I went and got it off and onto the floor. I lay on top of the comfortable sheets.  
I closed my eyes. I was back home, with my best friend, nothing could go wrong.

"Hey Charlie, want to join us in a late night game of wizards chess?"

My eyes flew open at James's question. Charlie was standing in the door way, looking at her brother as if he was growing a toe out the side of his head.

"Hmmm… Tempting" she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "But I think I'll pass." With that she walked off as if she hadn't been disturbed.

I looked at James. "Chess?" He nodded excitedly. I was shocked. We had spent the last three days playing chess continuesly. James, reading my expression, burst into a fit of laughter.

"No, I was kidding." He said between breaths. I sighed in relief, but then I was confused. He laught a bit more before saying. "I knew she'd say no, but I wanted to see how her face would look." I smiled and laughed a bit, but the night was still young and I desperately needed something to do. James had recovered and was now sitting at the edge of his bed, going through his trunk. "I was actually thinking about sending Moony a howler." He said holding up a bright red envelope.

So there we were. It's nearly eleven o'clock, Mr and Mrs Potter are in their study working on something that they won't finish until well after midnight, James and I are on his floor screaming into this envelope telling Remus to get himself out of bed, and all is well… until we were stopped.

I had been laughing for so long and so hard that the sides of my stomach and my chest aked, and there was a river escaping from my eyes. James who had composed himself better than I was still screaming into the envelope. I stopped laughing when there was a knock on the door, I tried to look towards the hallway but my eyesight was blurry from tears. But I didn't need my eyes to find out who it was. The door pushed open.

"Guys, shhh, alright? You've been yelling your lungs out into that thing for the past two hours. Give it a break. I think Remus get's the message." With that Charlie left.

After giving Moony our good-byes, we reluctantly but willingingly went to sleep. What a great start.

So the days rolled on by, most of them were spent playing Quidditch in the park on the Potter's estate. James and I had been on the Gryffindor Quidditch team since the second year. James was one of the best seekers I had ever seen. Alright, he was the best for his age, no one was as good as Sampson Wood from the Chudley Cannons.

Mr and Mrs Potter were usually at work so James, Charlie and I had the house pretty much to ourselves. Music was always coming from Charlie's room. She had the best voice out of all the people I knew. Although nobody would ever guess that she was a singer. It was as simple as this, no one really knew her, I'm not even sure that her parents had discovered who she was.

One day I woke up to find that more than half the holidays had gone by. The good news was that Remus would be arriving that week, the bad news: James had ignored Charlie's warnings about testing out pranks on her.

"Jay!!!"

I stopped eating immediately and looked up. James had put his head in his hands and peeked through his fingers as Charlie stormed into the kitchen.

"What's new Charlie?" he asked weakily.

"I. Want. My. Mirror. Back…. Right. Now!!"

James' hands dissapeared and he was smiling brightly again. "It worked?"

"Whatever. Who is the unfourtunate victim this time?"

I knew who it was meant for. James had told me this plan. After the shower was turned off the steam on the mirror would show a message which would be impossible to take off, no matter how much you wiped it away.

"Just some beautiful red-headed seventh year Gryffindor." I said smirking. Charlie however, was not amused.

"Arghh! No wonder she hates you!" With that she stalked off to her room.

My eyes trailed after her, when I heard a door slam, I looked over at James. I would have expected him to be shaking with laughter, but he had his head on the table. I thought nothing of it, he was just tired.

We ate in semi-silence and half an hour later I was saying good-bye to the Potters for the day. My aunt had asked me to come and have lunch with her and my cousin. Andromeda Tonks, my mother's sister was another person in the Black family who had been disowned. Although, unlike me, she had been disowned after she married her husband, Ted Tonks. Ted was a great bloke, They deserved each other. And they had further surprised the Black clan when they had a child, Nymphadora.

I was always compfortable in their home. They were my inspiration at the start of my emancipation to be free from my families rules and screwed up beliefs. If they lived without having the Black Family Crest stuck to them, why should I? So I had gladly accepted their invitation.

So I held the floo powder, stood in the firplace, closed my eyes, let go of the powder and called out "Glimstingnom Place". I was going to have one hell of a lunch.

_  
_**_Well there you have it. In chapters to come:_**_**  
**_**_New characters are introduced._**_**  
**_**_Old characters are acting weirdly._**_**  
**_**_Can Charlie be friends with everyone?_**_**  
**_**_And..._**_**  
**_**_"What is wrong with me? I don't feel things like this." - Sirius Black_**_**  
**_**_Pease tell me what you think._**_**  
**_**_Thanks :)_**


	4. Lunch and Lupins

_**Well here we are once again. Please remember that it is alright to leave a comment, I promise that I will not get hurt if you want to leave some constructive critism. I really hope that you like this chapter, I'm trying to get in deeper into the plot. Once again, I'm not J.K. Rowling...**__**  
**__**Well here it is, enjoy!**_

4: Lunch and Lupins

I walked out of the fireplace and looked around. Yup, just like I remembered it. I was standing in the living room. Its bright pink walls and green carpet reminded me of a prank James and I once pulled, it involved those colours and Slyhterin hair.

"Andy?"

"Ahhh! Ted, Sirius' here!" I smiled as she came into the living room. She wobbled up to me with open arms. For the next minute and a half I let my aunt squeeze the life out of me. I sometimes thought that my mother had been talking to Andy, because she seemed so relieved when she saw me. What was going to happen to me? I had to close my eyes from the pain, when I opened them, I was face to face with the tall figure of Ted Tonks. We shook hands and he patted my back, then steered me towards the outside dining area.

I took a seat beside him. He leant in closer to me, I did the same assuming that he was going to speak softly. I was grateful when he did.

"She was so excited when you said you'd come, she has enough food for a hundred giants." I laughed, mainly to be polite, I was grimacing inside. Knowing my aunt, it was probably true.

Ted and I started talking about the latest Quidditch game, but we were interupted by a high pitched squeal.

"Sirius!"

I looked up to see Nymphadora running towards me, I just managed to get up out of my seat before she ran into hug me. I was bombarded by purple hair for about ten seconds before my cousin let go of me.

"Hey Tonks, it's good to see you too." I once called her by her first name. She hit me square in the nose. Other than her parents, I only knew of one person who was immune to her 'no-first-name' rule. That person was back at the Potter house probably singing her lungs out.

"I like the new style by the way." I said, pointing to her hair, which was bright purple. I sometimes envied Tonks for her metamorphic abilities. God only knows how much girls like to change their hair, well if they don't like it they have to wait until it was back to normal, but Tonks didn't have that problem. I found myself wandering what Charlie would look like with purple hair… Nah, wouldn't work. I snapped back to reality when Tonks laughed. "Charlie told me to say hi." Ok she hadn't but I felt like being nice. I was expecting a smile to cover Tonk's face, but instead ther smile faltered a bit. She was quick to compose herself. But it was too late, I had noticed, she wasn't getting away that easily. _Oh come now, cough it up!_

"I miss her." Tonks said after looking up at me.

Andy put a hand on her daughters shoulder as she walked towards the table. "It's ok, you'll be back at Hogwarts soon." Tonks nodded and sat down at the table, as did I, but I was still a _tiny_ but confused. It wasn't like Tonks hadn't spoken to her. Charlie had been walking around the Potter house with a letter in her hand almost everyday. And why didn't Tonks ever visit? It wasn't like it was a hard thing to do. _Just eat and be nice, alright?_

I looked around. Unfortuantely, my uncle hadn't been lying. There was enough food to feed all the students at Hogwarts and still have enough for seconds. OHH, ok, I was exagerating bit, but there was no way that we were going to finish it. _Shut up and just eat._ Ahh, thank Merlin for that little voice in side my head, actually now that I think about it, it did sound a lot like Moony most of the time. As I ate and talked with my aunt and uncle I kept looking back to Tonks. She was so quiet, where normally she was as loud as anything. Like me, Tonks had made it into Gryffindor, she was so happy when she made it, having a family like hers, she didn't have much to worry about, no matter what house she got put into.

Yeah, so, if you haven't already guessed, my parents weren't to happy about me being sorted into Gryffindor. Everyday for about a week after the sorting, I'd received howlers from almost every person in my so-called-loving family. Sure, some of them hurt, but after each one I stood up, and bowed to the people around me. Letting them know that I wasn't going to be the least bit un-happy about what they said.

I was dragged back into the present by Ted. He was looking at me, expecting to hear words escape me.

"I'm sorry?"

"I asked you what you wanted to do after you leave school?" he said.

"To be honest, I haven't really thought about it." That wasn't the complete truth, I had been hoping to become an Auror, but I'd decided that I wasn't good enough, school wise, to even be considered.

Although I had had a great time, it felt great to step into the Potter's sitting room. James was sitting on the lounge waiting up for me.

"Have you been sitting there all day?"

"Ohh, Sirius, I've been so lost without you here," he said placing a hand on his heart, smirking.

"Prongs, there is no need to fear, for I am, once again here…" I jumped on top of an empty chair, pretending to pull out a sword. "I am here to defeat all your enemies, all who stand in my way shall never see the light of day!!" With that I made a dramatic dive off the lounge, almost ending up in the fire.

With James on the floor in hysterics and me regaining my balance, Charlie must have wondered what was wrong with our brains when she swung in the door frame. I looked up to see her face, confused but not the least bit shocked. I smiled at her, rather smiled at myself, for her eyes were still locked on James' shaking body on the ground.

She held out her hand and dropped three envelopes on the floor. "Letters." With that she left.

Once again I felt my eyes wandering after her, when I heard a door click I looked at the letters on the floor.

Remus

Marlene

Peter

_WHAT!! Wait up! MARLENE??!!_

"Have you been handing out your address to strangers James or is she just some bizarre kind of stalker?"

James walked over and took the letter from me. "Wow, they don't normally go this far. I mean they send you letters ad chocoates and stuff at school don't they? How did she find out where I live?"

By 'they'he meant the female population of Hogwarts… oh come on, it's not my fault if I'm popular.

He flipped it over and started to tear it open. I jumped off the lounge and tried my best to grab it from him. I mean, no offense to him, he is my best friend, but there are some things that I think shouldn't be shared.

James ran out of the room and I followed him down the hallway towards his room. He unfortuantely was the faster out of the two of us, once he was safely behind his bedroom door, he swug it shut and locked it, damn. Whatever was in that letter, it wasn't going to be good.

"James!! Ohh come on Prongs let me in!" I was banging on the door for about three minutes before he opened it. Even then he didn't give it to me. He just ran around the room shouting at the top of his lungs "OOOOOO Marly wants Siri-poo to come shopping with her!!"

"Give me that," I snatched the letter from his hand. I read it quickly, me eyes growing bigger after every sentence. Marlene McKinnon was in my year at Hogwarts. She was one of Lily's best friends and as James was constantly following Lily, I saw a lot of Marlene, unfortuantely. She was a pain, some girls just try a bit to hard. She was asking me to meet her in Diagon Alley on the 23rd of August to "shop."

"Great let's go to Diagon…" I looked up to see James' shocked face. "on any day but the 23rd." He smirked at that comment.

We went back to the sitting room and picked up the rest of the letters. Remus said that he was coming the next day and Peter's letter contained photos of him and his family in Egypt.

Later that night, lying in bed, I decided not to ask Charlie about Tonks, there was a good chance that she didn't know a thing and if that was the case, I didn't want her to worry about her friend. I then found myself thinking about Charlie worrying. I'd never seen her worry. Some people say that they can hide their emotions pretty well, well Charlie Potter didn't hide them _pretty well,_ she was an absolute expert. Even Remus had a hard time picking out her emotions, and normally he was really good at that. James had always said that she only showed the emotions that she wanted others to see, all the rest she just, well, hid by choice. Little did I know just how wrong I was…

I woke the next morning to Charlie's voice coming from the bottom of the stairwell.

"Jay, Sirius, Remus is here!" Even when she shouted it sounded like singing.

My eyes flew open. I was officialy freaked out! I had gone to sleep AND woken up thinking about my best friends sister. I quickly rushed to the bathroom, got dressed and slapped myself with water. _Snap out of it, Sirius, alright!_

I made my way down into the kitchen. Remus had made his way over to sit opposite to Charlie at the dining table. I opened up the fridge whilst listening in on their conversation.

"So, Charlie, how are you holding up?"

"As well as anyone could with two three year olds in control of the house." She laughed.

"Yeah, I can only begin to that noise. All out of food, are you?"

Charlie laughed again. "I can hear all of this you know." I said closing the fridge.

"Oop, I think we've hurt Sirri-poo's feelings." I heard Charlie whisper, Remus laughed. I felt my cheeks grow hot. What was happening to me? What is wrong with me? I was blushing. _BLUSHING!! _I don't feel things like this! I don't blush! For the second time that day I told myself to snap out of it. I didn't leave the kitchen until I was sure that my cheeks were back to normal.

I sat down just as Charlie was finshing off her breakfast. "So how long are you here, Rem?"

Remus looked up at Chralie and smiled weakly. "I'm so sorry, Charlie but I'm afraid you'll have to put with another three year old for a week or so."

"Oh don't be silly Remus," she said getting up and walking away. "I don't think of you as a three year old… Just a very excitable teenager." With that she walked back up the stairs.

About half an hour later we were all sitting at the dining table talking about the holidays and what pranks we should do for our final year at Hogwarts.

We were brainstorming ideas when Charlie came through the kitchen with a handbag over her shoulder, heading towards the back door in the study.

"Where are you going then?" I asked, rather to sharply, thankfully James didn't register it. Moony on the other hand.

Charlie swung around to look at me. "Don't worry, I'm just going to town. I promise I'll come back." She said, smiling, making it clear that she knew that my tone had been an accident.

James lifted his head from the parchment on the table. "Oh? When did Jo get back?"

_WHAT JO? Wait a second Sirius, calm down, ready… Jo, Joanne, Joddie, Joesephine, see no need to worry._

I watched Charlie's face light up. "He got back yesterday. I won't be home to late." She waved to us and walked out the door and down the back path.

_WHAT!! JO'S A GUY!! _My face became a little red again, thankfully I was able to stop it before it got too bad. Remus caught my eye, looking a bit confused and a bit shocked. I realized my mouth was still wide open, I shut it quickly.

I put my head on the table and let out a soft sigh. All I coud do was ask one little question. _What in Merlin's name was happening?_

**_Well there it is... I really hope you liked it, if you did, please tell me._**_**  
**_**_In chapters to come:_**_**  
**_**_* Who is this Jo, and how will Sirius react to him?_**_**  
**_**_* What does Remus suspect, can he shed any light on Sirius' rather awkward position?_**_**  
**_**_and_**_**  
**_**_* Hogwarts - home to many..._**


	5. Sad Songs and Scary Realisation

_**Last chapter: I watched Charlie's face light up. "He got back yesterday." What!! JO'S A GUY!!**_

5: Sad Songs and Scary Realisations

_My head is spinning around and it's making me dizzy.  
I'm spinning around and it's making me ill_

'_**In My Own Time' by Delta Goodrem.**_

James looked down at the paper once more. "Hmm… Yummy." He muttered.

Desperate to get away from the subject of this "Jo" character I grabbed this fantastic opportunity. "Yummy?" at the same time Remus asked "Who's Jo?"

_Damit!_

"Well firstly, Jo is Charlie's best friend, has been since she was nine."

"I've never heard of a Jo at Hogwarts." I said, hey, we were talking about it already.

"That's probably 'cause he's a muggle, you know people who don't do magic." James said knocking me on the head.

"I know, I know." I muttered, pushing his hand away.

"And I said 'yummy' because on the eve of Jo's return from his holiday's, Charlie makes dinner." James licked his lips and rubbed his stomach. "Hmm. Nothing beats Charlie's lasagne, the houselves challenged her once, we had to eat a slice of their dish and a slice of Charlie's and then rate them. Charlie's was the best by far." He added leaning in closer to us so that the nearby house elves wouldn't get offended.

_Friends, hey? I bet that's just what she told him, so he wouldn't beat the poor guy up._

I looked towards the back door, I had a queezy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I turned back to the table, only to find, once again, Remus looking at me. _Do you think he suspects anything? Padfoot, is there anything TO BE suspicious about? _I shook my head. _That's what I thought. _

Throughout the rest of the day, I had done my best to convince myself that what happened earilier was just a random mood swing. My best would have been enough if Remus hadn't been giving me strange side-ways glances. Every time that he did that, I would re-play the event over in my head. And each time I would remember smalller details about it, like the way Charlie went from happy to glowing when James said Jo's name, or the way she had a little bit of a skip in her step as she made her way down the path into the village.

I had a headache, which didn't make anything better. I really needed to talk to Moony… alone. I needed to know what he thought was going on, so I could assure him that he was wrong, or rather to assure myself.

The day went pain-stakingly slow. I looked at my watch only to find that it had only been thirty minutes since I checked it last. All day I felt like someone had put an invisible brick on my chest. I had almost convinced myself that what had happened earlier on in the morning was just some random mood swing… that was until the front door opened at six oclock that very same evening.

Remus, James and I were sitting in the upstairs living room. It reminded me of the Gryffindor common room, it was small, with a large fireplace, a small table and a number of cozy lounges. We were talking about Quiddtch and how Moony should get out more often when I heard the front door open – I had exceptionally good hearing which often led me into a lot of trouble.

I didn't know why I did it, but I faked a cough and told them that I needed to go get some water. James, having missed asoloutely everything that morning, didn't have any problem with me walking down to a kitchen that I had been using for the past two years, by myself… Remus, however, gave me another look that was a mixture between surprise and shock.

What was worse, was when I got up so did he. "I think I'll come too, I'm a bit hungry." Remus gave me a look that said _'don't you dare try to start an argument, or I'll take your chocolate stash and toss it in the fire.'_

I nodded, rather scared, though I would have never had addmitted it. I rushed down the stairs into the kitchen, trying to keep my face hidden from Remus. The truth was that I had no idea what I was feeling, how was I supposed to know what my face would look like?

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen and saw her standing there behind the counter, the brick that was on my chest suddenly got lifted. I sighed and took the deepest breath that I could.

What was happening? Why was it happening? And why was it happening to ME!!?? I wasn't the type of person who could live without knowing anything. I wanted answers. I realised that I'd stopped walking when someone pushed me from behind. I looked behind me, Remus was trying to get me to move.

I walked into the kitchen, I immediately regretted my decision to come down here. Charlie was still glowing about the day that she had spent with Jo. I wonder if I could meet him…

"Hi Charlie. How was your day?" Remus pushed passed me and took a seat behind the counter. I, reluctanly followed.

Charlie looked up and smiled at both of us. "Really nice thank you. Yours?"

"Oh you know, as well as it could have been." Remus replied, laughing. Charlie did the same before starting to cook dinner.

I don't know what got into me, but before I knew it I was on my feet and begining to walk away. I stopped myself in time to splutter that I was going to go and keep James company. This was getting rediculous, where was my tongue? Or my throat? Or my head? I think I must be going brain dead, because if my brain was working, I would be able to come up with some kind of logical explanation for what the bloody hell was going on. As I made my way back upstairs I heard Charlie ask if I was alright. Damit!

Dinner was one of the best meals I have ever eaten. James was right I don't think anyone could have bettered her lasange, I had to go back for seconds, as did James and Mr Potter. But that didn't distract me from the person who was sitting at the opposite end of the table. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes fixed on the table. When someone asked me what was wrong I told them that I didn't feel well, which, in a way was partly true.

I went straight to bed after dinner, but I had a bit of trouble getting to sleep. I don't know how long I had laid there but I heard James and Remus come into the room and get ready for bed.

I was quite happy just lying there listneing to them talk. Suddenly, in the middle of laughing, James stopped dead. He only ever did this when Lily walked into a room, and I was pretty sure that she wasn't in James' room. I fought to keep my eyes shut. I didn't want to be discovered faking sleep. Thankfully Remus asked all the right questions, as always.

"Prongs? What's wrong?"

"Oh it's nothing…" he stopped. "I just really hate this song." He added, realising that 'It's nothing' wasn't a good enough answer.

I sat there listening to the song coming from Charlie's room. She was singing along with it, but she was singing differently from anything I had ever heard before. She was putting more soul into this than anything I'd ever heard her sing. I listened to the words harder.

"I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye."

All in all, a very sad song by the sounds of it. Why would she sing something so sad? That was the last thing I remembered thinking before I fell into a very restless sleep.

I woke with a start. It was pitch black, my guess was that it was around 1am. I could hear James' snoring and Remus' light breathing coming from different sides of the room. Ishut my eyes trying to get bac to sleep, when…

"You've never had a crush before have you?"

I jumped and nearly landed on the floor. "Moony, what the hell? A heart attack is the last thing I need right now!"

"Oh don't over exagerate!" he said lighting his wand so that he could see me.

I looked around, Remus had propped himself up against the wall of his bed and James was still snoring. Then I rememberd what Remus had said and I felt my cheeks begin to redden.

"What do you mean 'a crush'?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh come off it Sirius. James might have been dumb enough not to notice but I'm not."

"I don't like her she's my best friend's little sister!" James snored louder in respse to my growing voice. I looked back at Remus who was wearing a smug smile. "What?"

"You just answered my question." He said.

"What!?"

"I could have been speaking about any girl and you imediately picked out Charlie. So thank you for proving my point."

"No I didn't! Just because I thought you were talking about her doesn't mean that I have 'a crush' on her!"

"Sirius, admit it. You like the girl, why should that be so bad?"

I put my face in my hands and pointed to James, still snoring. I didn't know how he'd react to this whole bizarre stituation.

I heard Remus sigh. "Look, you'll tell him when you're ready. We're going back to Hogwarts in a week, Padfoot. You're strong, you can make it through a week." With that Remus dimmed his wand until we were in complete darkenss once more, said good night and went to sleep.

_One more week, Sirius. Just one more week…_

"Ow, gerrof me!" Someone was hitting me across the face with a pillow! What a lovely wake up call. "Get off of me!" They stopped, thank Merlin. I took a deep breath to prepare my self. I opened my eyes to see James jumping from bed to lounge to bed holding a piece of parchment in his hand.

"What's going on?" I asked hesitantly.

"Padfoot! Padfoot! I got head boy! Me, James Potter, got head boy!!"

This couldn't be true, Dumbledore knew better than that. I looked around for Moony. When I spotted him near the door holding two more letters, he just gave a small apologetic smile. Oh my! In the name of everything magical, this was sure to be one of the worst mistakes our headmaster could ever make. As I sat there, mouth open wide and speechless, I heard an erruption of laughter coming from down the hall. I looked at Remus again.

"Who was that?"

"Oh, Charlie's friend Jo is here."

I let my head fall back onto my pillow. _Absoloutely fabulous! Please, Merlin, get me through this week, with as little brain damage as possible._

I went as slow as I could manage in getting ready for the day ahead of me. I was hping that by the time I got down stairs _he _would be gone, and I thought that I had succeeded until I got to the dining room and and heard voices behind me. I tried my hardest but after five minutes I turned around and looked through the big glass windows into the study.

They were sitting back to back in the centre of the lounge. It was the first time I ever saw Jo. He was tall with short brown hair and I could tell imediately that he was the popular one in his school. He looked like an arrogant, big-headed, pig-headed, bully and a complete jerk. I didn't like the look of him. Not one little bit.

I took a seat at the table, making sure that I was facing away from Charlie and Jo.

"Well, you finally decided to grace us with your presence?"

I looked up, Remus had taken up the opposite seat. I rolled my eyes and continued eating. After a while I looked around. "Where's Prongs?"

Remus smirked. "He went to tell his parents the 'good' news."

I shook my head and let out a sigh. "Do you think they'll send Dumbledore to Azkaban for this? We know that having James as head boy, Hogwarts won't last a month."

Remus laughed, but I was being serious (no pun intended). This was going to be a strange year. Just then, right on que, James stepped out of the fireplace and made his way over to us. The man was over the moon. He sat there reading the letter again and again. I had to smile.

"So, what did they say?"

James looked up at both of us, smile still plastered onto his face. "They're taking me out to dinner tonight." We sat there wating for the rest of it. "Oh ok, they kind of… inspected it… to make sure… I hadn't tampered with… Remus' letter from Hogwarts. But after that they were alright."

Remus and I looked from James and then to eachother. We burst out into fits of laughter at exactly the same time. That sounded just like them, infact no one will honestly believe that James got head boy. We're going to have to convnce a lot of people.

James sat there waiting patiently for the next ten minutes while Remus and I did our best to compose ourselves. When I could breath properly a sudden and rather frightening thought occurred to me.

"Do you think we should tell her?" I said. James and Remus looked at me with confused faces. "Lily? You know so she doesn't hit you or faint or anything on the train?" I winced as I said this. Remus got a look of understanding and then anxiety on his face and James… well he got the same far off look he always got when you said Lily's name. James got up and walked out of the room. _What the…? _Moony looked just as confused as I was. Whilst he was gone I overheard Charlie and Jo in the next room.

"Butter?" Male voice, obviously Jo, the good for nothing…

"Jo, why in the world would I eat butter?" Charlie.

"Fine maybe I got a bit carried away for a second." Jo

"A bit!?" Charlie

I jumped as James slammed a peice of parchment and a quill on the table. I wasn't expecting that.

"And what's all this?" I asked pointing to the parchment.

"Moony is going to write Lily a letter explaining everything so she's prepared for the train. Everything's going to turn out alright. You'll see." He was wearing the biggest smile ever.

"And what am I susposed to say in this letter?"

I sat back and watched my morning entertainment. I didn't get far though. Charlie's raised voice made me turn around. She was standing up looking down at Jo who was sitting properly on the lounge.

"What?" she said looking down at him.

"What?" he laughed back.

"Here I am speaking to a chocaholic in the middle of summer. What else could you possibly be thinking about, other than choocolate mouse?"

He let out a sigh. "Fine you caught me, what do I owe you?"

Charlie jumped up and down smiling. "Well now that we're on the subject of chocolate." She said looking thoughtful, Jo sighed again as he got up and started walking towards the front door. "A chocolate sundaie should do it."

"The sauce?"

"Warm but not to hot." She said waving at us as the walked into the hallway. "Have fun boys."

Jo watched as she said her good-byes then stopped looking from James, to Remus, to me. "James, you never introduced us." He said.

James looked up. "Oh right, Jo this is Remus and Sirius." Jo shook both of our hands whilst saying.

"Oh yes, the infamous Moony and Padfoot. Heard all about you two." He laughed. We all heard the front door open. Jo looked back at us. "Hey, speak to you later alright? Bye." With that he ran out into the hallway. "Hey, Lee wait up. I only have two legs, you know."

"Oh, I can give you some more if you like." I heard Charlie call out.

_So it's Lee, is it? Bloody smart ass. _Remus kicked me from underneath the table. I remembered that I was still scowling after Jo.

"Right who wants to go to Diagon?" James asked getting up.

_Only one more week… One more week._


	6. Little Incidents and Weird Head Conversa

6: Little Incidents and Weird Head Conversations

_It started out as a feeling  
Which then grew into a hope_

_**-'The Call' By Regina Spektor**_

I woke up on the 1st of September to Charlie, much to my disappointment. For the past week I had been trying to avoid Charlie and Jo, which wasn't easy seeing as he was over almost every day.

In the last week I had found out that Jo was probably just as close to the Potter family as Remus and I were. He didn't ever bother to knock. No, he just walked right into the house whenever he felt liked it, called James's parents Aaron and Emmelia, and then ran straight up to Charlie's room as of it was something that he just had to do.

One morning, a couple of days before we had to go back, Charlie spent the whole day with him! From eight o'clock in the morning to nine o'clock at night, when she walked through the door, and she was so quiet all throughout dinner. Which isn't that unusual, but she would normally look at whoever was talking, or look at her mother when she was speaking to her. But that night she just stared out the back windows, her green eyes fixed on one spot. Mrs. Potter was speaking to her in whispers, but Charlie looked like she was only just registering it. And, as per usual, I had no idea what she was feeling. Her face hid absoloutely everything from everyone. _He must've broken up with her. Oh wait their just "friends." _

Where was I?? Oh, yeah, September 1st, Charlie (how often that name pops up all of a sudden. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable as I realised that maybe Moony was right). I woke up to her voice. I was a little groggy, James and I had only had a few hours of sleep – Moony went home two days before we had to go back. I was half dead when she decided to knock on the door.

"You two do know that we have to catch a train in forty-five minutes?"

My eyes flew open. Big mistake, I was blinded by the sunlight, I put my hand over my face. "What!?"

"Oh, well,if you haven't heard, we have to catch a train in forty-five minutes."

I looked over just as she was walking away. _Oh! That's just great. James' head boy and he's going to be late AND everyone will blame who? Oh no, not him, no they'll blame ME! _With these thoughts in mind, I picked up my pillow and chucked it as hard as I could at the body lying in the bed on the opposite side of the room. "Prongs! Get up, we're late!"

"What? Late? Hah! Don't be silly Padfoot. It's only four thirty in the morning." James grumbled as he rolled over and put his head back onto the pillow I'd just used as a weapon.

I knew that throwing stuff across the room wasn't going to do anything. I got out of my bed and made my way over to the bathroom. Once there I found a small bucket that was left there from the last time I'd done this. I walked back out of the bathroom and stood next to James' head, then I slowly dribbled the ice water from the bucket onto his cheek, then when the side of his mouth twitched I poured the rest of it onto his face. When he sat bolt upright, I held my watch infront of his eyes. Forty minutes till the train was due to leave. I watched his eyes widen and smirked as he groaned and jumped out of his bed.

Thankfully Moony had talked us into paking our trunks early, so we just made it in time. James kept fidgetting in the car on the way to the train station. I thought it was just because he didn't want to be late and upset his Lily-Flower. But every now and then I saw him, as well as his parents, shoot anxious glance to the back seat where the youngest Potter member sat, gazing out the side window. _That's odd…_

We had five minutes to spare when we arrived at the station. It didn't feel like we were speeding but by some miracle we got to the platform in time for us to say propper goodbyes. Charlie went first, hugging her father, he told her to have a fabulous time and that he would be counting the days till Christmas break. Saying goodbye to took a bit longer. Charlie hugged her mother and then tried to move out of it, she soon realised that her mother had very little intention of letting go. I felt my lips curve up into a smile as I watched Charlie handle her mother.

"Mum" at first Charlie whispered, as she said it again it got a little bit louder, and by the third time Charlie had to actually back out of her mother's tight grip. "Mum! It'll be alright, yeah?" She said leaning closer to her mother, nodding her head so that her mother would do the same. When Mrs. Potter nodded her head Charlie waved and then went to load her trunk onto the train.

James went next, shaking his father's hand whilst being reminded not to set any common rooms on fire this year. And then hugging his mother, who foolishly reminded her son to act like head boy, not to just wear the badge.

I was looking over my shoulder at Charlie when Mr. Potter started his goodbye speech. I only took in some of it. Something about keeping James out of trouble. _Yeah, right!_And trying to keep Lily from murdering his only son. After I'd hugged Mrs. Potter I followed James over to the luggage area. As I walked I spotted Charlie, she was standing behind Tonks.

"Nymphadora Tonks, what in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" Charlie said crossing her arms. I watched as my cousin stiffened and turned around to see who had broken her only and most sacred rule.

"Don't call me Nympha- Charlie!!" Tonks went from stiff and lethal to giddy and jumping with excitement as she hugged her friend. As Charlie helped Tonks with her trunk she put a hand on Tonks' back.

"Oh my gosh! Guess What?" Charle waited until she had Tonks' full attention before going on. "He got head boy!"

I smirked at Tonks' reaction, well the whole wide-eyed shocked face was probably the only thing to expect. "Wha- James? No… Really?"

Charlie nodded her head and the two girls burst into laughter. "Oh poor Lily!" They continued laughing until they got on the train.

"Pads, you alright?"

I looked up to see James. I faked a smile and said 'yeah, just peechy.' _What a year this is going to be…_

After what felt like hours, James and I finally found Remus in an empty compartment, his face was buried in a book. _Typical. _As soon as I sat down, James and Remus got up.

"Sorry, Sirius, we got to go to the meeting. We won't be to long, promise." James patted my knee on his way out.

"Where's Wormy?" I asked Remus. He shrugged and said something about Peter going to spend some time with his other friends. _Hmm… Peter has other friends? _I looked up to find myself sitting alone in an empty compartment. _So here we are Padfoot, all alone. Who else is a prefect? You know your cousin Tonks is a pretty good prefect… No don't even think about that…No I'm not going to go. Why not? Because I don't want to. I can't._

Despite all of this, a few minutes later I was wondering through the trian looking for her compartment. I just… I just wanted to see her one last time before she melted into Hogwarts. Because that's what would happen, as soon as Charlie stepped into the Great Hall that would be the last time that I would see her until the holidays. I just wanted to speak to her one more time before the innevitable happened.

I finaly found her. She was sitting by herself, her long hair over one shoulder, reading a book the size of _Hogwarts: A History_

She raised her head as I opened the compartment door. "D'you mind if I sit here for a little bit?"

She shook her head and motioned to one of the seats. "Where's Peter?" Her voice was so soft, so friendly.

I shrugged. My eyes locked with hers for a second before I moved them to the book she had. "Doing a bit of light reading?"

She smiled a bit and was about to say something when the comartment door opened. I looked up to see Lily Evans in the doorway. She looked at Charlie and she smiled. Then she noticed me. Her smile faded, very quickly.

"Black, out!" She said walking into the compartment.

"No! I was here first!" I said, crossing my arms. Who did she think she was! Trying to order me around?

She scowled at me. "No you weren't!"

We both looked at Charlie at the same time. She had gone back to reading her book, when she realised that we were both staring at her she raised her head and smiled innocently.

"Don't bring me into this."

I smiled at her words and then looked at Lily. She pursed her lips and sat down. "Fine!"

"Fine!" I said mimiking her. Then I went back to looking at Charlie. She finished the page she was on and put her book aside.

"Lily, I'm so sorry, I was so close to writing Dumbledore a letter of disapproval, but James looked so happy."

Lily looked at Charlie. "Oh, that's alright." She said making it obvious that she wasn't particualarly happy about the years head boy.

Charlie smiled slightly. "Give him a chance, Lily. He might surprise you."

Lily looked at Charlie in disbelief. "And if he doesn't manage to surprise me?"

Charlie looked thoughtful for a second before saying. "Well then you can kill him." She smiled, as did I.

As I sat back and wached the two talk about their holidays, I tried to figure out how they could be friends when Charlie's brother was practically Lily's stalker. I then remembered how Charlie had surprised the entire Hogwarts population.

At the start of her first year, everyone had the same thought when Professor McGonogal called out 'Potter, Charlie.' And that thought went something like this… _Oh, great. Another Potter to help turn the school into a circus. _But it didn't take long until we all found out how wrong we were. The first years who had older brothers or sisters who went to Hogwarts had told them about James Potter and the Marauders, all expected Charlie to be the same as her brother. The truth was that you couldn't find two more different people in one family. Where James was a bit loud and irritating, Charlie was the complete opposite, quiet and rather invisible. Lily was the hardest to convince that they were nothing like one another.

After James revealed his undieing love for Lily in the middle of third year, she ignored him and Charlie. Lily was well known for her death glares, which she gave Charlie almost everyday for a month before she realised that if Charlie was like James then she would have done something stupid by now to get herself in a detention or something along those lines. Since then the two have pretended that it never happened and Lily had learnt not to hold her feelings of annoyance towards James against Charlie.

Charlie and Lily had gotten up and were headed for the door when I came back into reality.

I looked up, trying to hide the feeling of disappointment that I could feel in the pit of my stomach. "Where are you going then?"

"What's it to you, Black?" Lily said looking down at me. That was what I was expecting from her though, so it barley registered.

"We're just going to get changed." Charlie smiled as she walked out of the compartment.

It was infectious, her smile. I found myself smiling even though Lily was talking to someone who I'd rather not see.

"Hey Marlene."

_Oh, Merlin, why??_

"Black? Oh come on, Mar… Fine, fine. He's in there"

_No! Lily why? Can't you ever shut up?_

I closed my eyes in dread and ran my fingers through my hair, in preperation. I heard the compartment door slide open.

_Here we go…_

"Sirius!!" Marlene McKinnon had a very interseting voice. At first it was soft and reasonably sweet. Listen to it long enough, however and it has the likeness to sand paper scratching a chalk board.

I opened my eyes and faked a smile. That's all she needed, next minute she was sitting in my lap.

"I missed you. Where were you, you never wrote back."

I looked up into those bright blue eyes of hers, personally I prefer green eyes. "Sorry, love, I was a bit busy."

"Yeah I know, Charlie told me."

"What?!"

Marlene looked taken aback by my sudden change in moods, but soon got over it. "Well, I saw her when I went shopping and she told me that you were sorry and that you were at an important Quidditch game, or… I think it was something like that."

I felt a smile creep its way onto my face. God love that girl. I'd have to thank her later. _Maybe I could give her a hug? Don't push it, mate._

Marlene obviously took this the wrong way. She leant down and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I took this opportunity to clear my head. I kissed her hair. But it wasn't right. Kissing blonde hair, when I really wanted it to be brown hair. Looking into blue eyes instead of green ones.

_Oh, Merlin! What is wrong with me?? No, I can't do this._

"Ahh, Marlene?" I waited until I had her attention before I said anything else. She noticed the uneasy look on my face.

"What? What is it?"

"Look, I don't think that this is going to work out all that well," I said pointing a finger from her back to me.

"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!??" Marlene jumped off from my lap and was now standing in front of me, hands on hips. Her face was flushed.

_Oh, Damn!_

"SIRIUS, WHO IS SHE? I'LL FIND OUT EVENTAULLY, YOU KNOW!"

This wasn't going at all well, and I could have been killed if the compartment door hadn't haa been opened. I looked up to thank my saviour but was met by a very confused Tonks.

"Where's Charlie?" she asked looking from me to Marlene.

_NO, NO, NO…_

Marlene looked at me with full-scaled anger as Tonks said Charlie's name. I was terrified that she would turn into a dragon and reduce me to ashes right then and there. But suprisingly she didn't, she walked straight out of the compartment and made her way down the corridor.

After she left, I couldn't believe my luck. I quickly checked if all of my limbs were in tact – as well as my face, I couldn't risk losing that – and that Marlene hadn't hexed anything off.

"Tonks, you probably saved my life!" I sighed in relief. But when my eyes had found their way to the door, Tonks was no where to be seen.

From somewhere down the corridor I heard Tonks' voice. She was speaking to Charlie! Actually more like yeliing, she was wanting to know 'what the hell was going on.' Seeing this as my chance to get away I silently sliped from the compartment.

As I walked away I could hear Charlie and Tonks talking about the little _incident _that just took place. I was worried that Marlene had figured it out. I hoped to Merlin that she hadn't. I also made up my mind about another little thought that I had been thinking about.

I was so sick of having a reputation like mine. Getting every girl I wanted was no longer enough anymore. If Charlie could by an un-typical Potter and get away with it, then I saw no reason why I couldn't do the same.

This year at Hogwarts I was going to throw my rep out the window. I, Sirius Black, was going to be an un-typical me.

Sounded easy enough, yeah??


	7. What the?

_**Hey, so here is the seven chapter and it's the longest yet. Please don't kill me for it being so long, but it'll be well worth it… hopefully. Well enjoy!**_

7: What the…?

_Oh empty my heart  
I've got to make room for this feeling  
so much bigger than me_

_**- 'Can't Take It In' by Imogen Heap**_

When I stepped through the doors into the Great Hall all my worries left me. Everything about Charlie and Marlene, everything washed away as I sat down at the Gryffindor table. James as always, sat near Lily. He always seemed to do this so it looked like an accident. I knew better, and so did Lily, I could tell by the way she was glaring at the badge pinned to his robes. She loked like she could kill someone. Apparently she hadn't taken the news well, even if she had received warning before it. I sighed in delight, evrything was as it should be. Lily glaring at James, her friends trying to distract her and James completely oblivious to all of it.

"So, are we ready?" James asked, leaning closely into us. I could hear the moan's and groan's from people around us. I smiled at how well people knew us. They also knew that when the Marauder's huddle, a prank would shortly follow.

"Yeah everything is in place, all we need is the right spell, and the people," Remus whispered. He pulled his wand from his pocket and discretly pointed it towards the ceiling, which looked exactly like the sky outside. He muttered some kind of spell, which I was sure was years above our level.I looked up and tried to hide my laughter as I saw the ceiling go from clear to slightly cloudy. It wasn't enough to draw attention, but it soon would.

"And so gentlmen, let the last year of the Marauder's come,"said James.

"And let it be one hell of a show," I added.

"Let it go as slowly as possible," Remus said

"And may it go off with a bang!" Peter laughed.

We all shook hands as the hall was silenced for the start of the Sorting Ceremony. The one thing we had all been looking forward to. The next second, a hundred or so small eleven-year-olds were making their way clumsily towards the front of the hall. Looking nervous and excited, the first-years stopped infront of the Sorting Hat, a frayed old wizard's hat that decided which house you were to be placed in.

I was petrified as I made my way up to the stool and having the hat placed on my head when I started at Hogwarts. Of course I knew what was going to happen, the whole little voice in your ear telling you your options. My family had told me about Slytherin, how that's where the ambitious go. Who wants to be ambitious? Not me, I told the hat, I wanted to be brave and that's where the hat put me, in Gryffindor, and thank Merlin it did. I don't think I'd've survived pulling pranks on my fellow house mates.

The first student hurried up to the stool, obviously she couldn't wait until it was over. After a minute of Janeene Actail having the Sorting Hat covering her eyes, the hat suddenly screamed "Hufflepuff!" But that's not the only thing that happened. The Marauder's plan was working perfectly. When the hat called out the name of the house, the ceiling had started emmitting yellow and brown fireworks. Everyone looked up as the fireworks whizzed past them. From the teachers table I could see Dumbledore looking at the four of us. If he hadn't been expecting something like this then he really was a nutter. But he looked amused just like everyone else. Goal accomplished.

Although we had designed this to happen after every person, no one looked like they were getting bored, because every firework display was different.

When the Sorting Ceremony was over, it took a while for everyone to settle down. Naturally everyone's eyes were on us. James and I stood up and bowed to the crowd around us. I noticed James' eyes lingered on someone sitting down the other end of the Gryffindor table. I looked as well, suprisingly it wasn't Lily. Charlie was next to Tonks who was doubled over with laughter. Charlie was laughing a long with everyone else, I had to admit, she looked beautiful.

When everything started to die down, James and I sat down again. Remus was smirking, as usual he found it hilarious that no one suspected him of anything.

Dumbledore stood up, still looking amused. "Thankyou students." He said. "I'm sure everyone, a long with myself, enjoyed that rather colourful little display." At this the Great Hall once again erupted with cheers and hoots.

_Oh, yes… who is adored??_

"But now down to buisness. I have just a few announcments to make. I would like to remind all of you that the Forbidden Forest sticks by it's title and that no students are to enter it. Also there is to be no magic used in the corridors between lessons." Dumbledore's eyes flickered over to us. "Now, I'm all sure you're all extremely hungry so do tuck in and enjoy."

I watched as the bowls and platters infront of me went from empty to full of delicious foods. As I shovelled food onto my plate I could hear the people around me talking about the Sorting.

"That was brilliant!", "My favourite was the one that went of for the Thomas kid in Ravenclaw."

I smiled as I ate my pie. I could feel Lily's glare on mine and James heads. We were in for it now. Even though James was head boy and even though it was clear that Dumbledore hadn't minded, I fully expected one of Little Miss Calm-and-Collected's all out temper tantrums any minute now. I could even hear Lily's friend Alice talking to her in hushed tones, obviously woried about the same thing I was.

"Lily, they didn't hurt anyone, as a matter of fact, they did the complete opposite, so smile and talk to us."

It was funny, over the years I've noticed that as much as Lily says she hates James, she sure does speak about him a lot. Last year Marlene shouted at her in the middle of breakfast saying that if she hears the name James Potter one more time she'd ram Lily into a wall. Yeah, she likes him a lot, she just never had the right kind of encorougment, and it didn't help with James hexing her best friend of like, forever, Snivellus Snape. I gues he needed to work on that.

All through dinner I tried to ignore the people who were trying to catch my eye and I restrained from looking up at the other end of the table. After all that been said it was a relief when the remaining food got wiped clear from the tables and when Dumbledore rose from his seat at the front of the hall.

"Well, I think that about does it everyone. Now, off to bed all of you. I look forward to seeing you hard at work tomorrow for your first lessons."

With that the sound of feet filled the Great Hall as students started making their way to their Common Rooms. Just like old times.

As we went a long the corridors towards Gryiffindor Tower, we must have had at least fifty people come up to us and congragulate us on a spectacular performance. My arm was numb by the time I finally got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, which also happened to be the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room. What a beautiful sight it was, I'd missed its squishy arm chairs and the enormous fire.

James and I took a seat in our favourite chairs right next to the fire. Remus and Peter followed. I was going to start up a conversation but James' concentration was on something else. I looked over and noticed that it wasn't something that had his attention, it was someone. Yeah, you guessed it, Lily had just climbed through the potrait hole into the room.

"James, I know what you're thinking… please don't," Remus said looking worried.

James however just smiled back at him and didn't move. "It's alright Moony. I got some advice from someone and I'm going to follow through with it."

I stared at him. This wasn't James… no someone had taken some Polyjuice Potion and hidden the real James somewhere where we wouldn't find him.

"I have more imprtant things to worry about this year."

I stood up, ready to take down this imposter.

"Alright, who are you and what have you done with our friend?" I pointed a finger at him.

"Sirius sit down. For Merlin's sake." Moony pulled me back into my seat. All eyes were now on us. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Charlie and Tonk's walk up to their dorm. _Bye Charlie… _

"Well, I think that's great news James, not worrying about Lily as much and focussing on your exams." Moony siad rather loudly. I son found out why he felt it necessary to shout my ear off.

Lily was making her way towards her dorm, when she (like everyone else) heard Remus, she stopped dead. _Was I right, or was I right?_ Alice whispered somethng to her and they kept moving. _Another goal reached._

I looked over at Remus who was smirking stupidly. "One – nill, my way."

I poked my tongie out at him. For about a year now we had been playing a little game. It's name – Limes. Stupid name I know but it was actually the first two letters of Lily's name and the last three of James'. The game had just one simple aim – to get Lily to show her true feelings for James. The rules were that neither of them could get hurt (emotionally or physically) and it had to be moderately subtle. Remus always got the closest to winning however. Lily seemed to trust him more than she did me, I'm sure she had her reasons. _I bet it's a good one too._

Remus and I were waiting for a response from James. He normally asked us what we were playing. He's never found out though. But it never came. I looked up at him, a bad feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. James was acting weird, it wasn't like him to just tune out of a conversation, especially when it was about Lily. James was staring into the fire, a slight smile playing around his mouth. I looked at Remus, he looked just as confused as I felt.

"James?" he looked over to me, his eyebrows raised. "Are you feeling alright?" James nodded and looked around the Common Room.

"Well that was fast," he said. I looked around the Common Room. A long with us, there was about ten other people. A few first years still looking rather over-excited; A couple of fifth years talking animatedly about the upcoming Quidditch season; And over in the corner, spekaing about the holidays, was the one person I was going to try and avoid, Charlie Potter and Tonks. They had made their way back down into the room from their dorm. I looked around again.

"Hey, where's Peter?" I'd just noticed that he was no where to be seen.

Remus and James shrugged. "Said something about getting an early nights sleep." There was another person acting strangely, I'd hardly seen Wormtail today.

Someone from the corner of the room moved. Charlie and Tonks were once again making their way up to the girl's dormitory. I tried to pretend I hadn't noticed but that was a bit hard to do, because James was now standing up, looking at them.

"Excuse me boys," he said as he rushed over to his sister who stopped and looked down at him. Tonks, however, kept going up the spiral staircase after telling Charlie that she'd see her up there. James sat on the floor at the bottom of the stairs and Charlie sat herself down on the second step and they started talking to eachother.

"Is it just me, or is Prongs acting a bit –"

"Strange" Moony finished my sentence with a worried look spread out onto his face. _So we're not the only ones who have noticed…_

I looked back over to the bottom of the staircase. James looked worried as he spoke to his sister, he was holding her hand while she nodded away. She didn't look worried or upset, or even happy. Like normal, she didn't look anything.

"Wonder what they're talking about?" I turned to Remus, he wasn't known to pry into other's problems.

"What?" He hit my arm to make me stop staring at him. It seemed like everyone had switched places. James was supposed to be sitting here getting suspicious and Remus was the one who was always worried about different things; his furry little problem, upcoming exams, upcoming exam results. But not James, not care-free Potter. But there he was whispering to his sister. Something was going on, and I was going to find out what it was.

I turned to look back at them, James was now saying goodnight, although the look on his face told me that he didn't want to. Charlie gave him a final nod, kissed him on the head and made her way up to the girl's dorms.

I'd never have taken Charlie and James to be that close, I mean the whole kissing on the head kind of thing. They always gave eachother a good amount of space. Not the type of space I had with my brother, Regulus. That space said 'I don't want to go any where near you.' But they knew not to interfere with eachother, well, Charlie did anyway.

As I watched her walk up the stairs I realised it. What I thought before came back to me like someone had hit me in the face, I felt the bottom of my stomach drop. Charlie had the extrodianry ability to become invisible in a crowd, that was why I hadn't seen her most of last year. So that was that. I prbably wouldn't see Charlie again until Christmas break.

James came back over to us, but he didn't sit down, instead he just said that he was tired and that he was going to bed, and left.

"What the bloody hell was all that about?" I said, I was just so confused. Remus shrugged and looked at James's back walking up the stairs to our dorm.

_What the bloody hell was going on?_

*

I woke up in the morning rather confused. I had a very… interesting dream. It started off with what I saw the night before. I was sitting infront of the fire and I looked over to see James and Charlie talking. They talked for what seemed like hours and then James got up, looked at me with a worried look on his face and then looked back to Charlie. Charlie then turned into a dove and flew out a window that had been opened by Remus.

Needless to say it felt extremely odd when I looked at James, knowing that I had just dreamt about his sister made me very uneasy.

Remus and I came up to the dorm last night to find James' shutters tightly closed… they were _always _open. He _never _had them closed. Even the more reason to be suspicious. It took a long time for me to get to sleep that night, I tried to think of the reason for it all; For James finally giving up on Lily, his secretive little talk with Charlie and his sudden lack of smiles. But as hard as I tried I didn't come up with anything.

Back to the fact that I had got up out of bed, which was very unusual for me to do without being told several times by Remus that we'd miss out on breakfast. He was shocked to say the least. He just sat there on the edge of his bed stuttering. "Y-your o-out of bed. A-are you f-feeling alright?" Luckily the lessons started a bit later or I would have missed out on breakfast. I got dressed and made my way down to the common room, where James and Remus were waiting for me. I looked at James first off, he was smiling brightly and telling random jokes to people who walked by. _Phew, it's ok, he's back to normal. See?_

I looked around the room, there was no sign of her.I didn't know whether I was glad or dissapointed. Remus noticed my face and stayed behind with me as James went out of the portriat hole.

"You, ok?" he asked.

I nodded but didn't say anything. I didn't know what I'd say if I opened my mouth.

I kept my head down as I entered the Great Hall for breakfast. I didn't want to see her. My stomach was on the fritz and I found myself picking at my food. I only looked up when Professor McGonogal had started to hand out the timetables. Several people caught my eye, and tried to talk to me, but I ignored them. Remus was watching me carfully, he was just over reacting as usual.

"Ah, Professor! What a lovely sight you are!" James took his timetable from her. I thought that I saw her smile slightly. I grinned as she looked at him.

"Flattery will get you no where, Potter," she gave us our timetables and turned to James once more. "Oh and Potter, you and Miss Evans will need to visit the headmasters office after lunch. Try not to be late." With that she turned on her heel and walked off.

"And so it begins," I muttered under my breath, which earned a punch in the arm off of James.

I looked down at my timetable. Not a bad line-up for the first day back. First was Defence Against the Dark Arts – which wasn't so bad although the Slytherins took it a bit too seriously – next was Trasfiguration – that's good 'cause McGonogal loves us, no matter how much she denies it – then there was lunch, a free peiod and before dinner we had Potions. I was checking the following days when I heard a voice that made me stop cold.

"Charlie! What can we do for you this fine morning." James was looking at his sister's glowing face.

"Just came to give you this, he had a last minute thought." She handed him a letter. He skimmed over it and laughed.

"The man's a genious. You really know how to pick friends Charlie," he said as he kissed her hand. I looked around to see several girls looking furious, trying to figure out why they didn't get that same special treatment.

Charlie's smile was infectious, it brought out every little dimple in her face. I was smiling a long with her within seconds. _NO PADS!!This is what you're trying to avoid, remember??!! _I mentally kicked my self, but that didn't stop me watching her walk out of the Hall.

"So… who's a genious exactly?" Remus asked James.

"Jo, he just sent me this. Do you know the prank we were planning while he was over? The one with the water?"

"Yeah"

"Well he's suggesting that we make it so that the water can never be dried! What did I say, genious or what?" James was grinning like crazy. But his bragging about Charlie's boyfriend didn't help my current condition of near insnaity on the subject.

*

The day went pain-stakingly slow. I kept finding myself thinking about Charlie and how close she really was to Jo.

It was obvious that James seemed to think that they were just friends and nothing but. But I saw between the lines, to me they were plain and obvious. But no one else seemed to find them as quikly as I had. I would've expected Remus to find out with me. But if he had, the conversation that we had during the holidays would've gone a bit differently. By differently I meant that he would have probably told me to forget about her and that she was already taken.

Remus kept on nudging me in classes to get me to focuss. It was only the first day back at school and I was already in a messy situation. But it was just me. Charlie had no idea, neither did Tonks or James,or Jo. Just me and Remus, and Merlin knows that he wasn't much of a help.

James' big meeting with Dumbledore was after luch and after we had finished eating he started to look around for Lily.

_Maybe he's forgotten what he said last night about Lily too? We can only hope for the best Sirius. _

As Lily approached he got up and, without saying anything, started to walk beside her. So it was just me and Remus left, as Peter had another class after lunch.

"So how are you holding up?" He said scanning my face.

I shrugged. "I'm doin' okay."

"No you're not." He stated blandly.

"Look if you're not going to help with the situation, don't try." I had had enough. He was the one who told me what was going on, who had confirmed it for me. You can't just say something like that and not do anything to help the person you were putting through pain.

He looked a bit taken a back, but I got him to stop talking about it. All in all it was the longest break I've ever had. I spent the whole time reading a text book for potions and was relieved when the bell sounded for the afternoon lessons. James met us infront of the potions class, looking midly anxious about something.

"Hey, Moony there's a prefect meeting after dinner, before rounds."

"Ok then," Remus and I were both hesitant, usually that was the last thing James would say, even before a hello.

All throughout potions, Remus and I couldn't help but to take sideway glances at James, he wasn't acting like himself. That worried the hell out of us, he never acted differently, that's why he was always so predictable.

I noticed half way through the lesson that we weren't the only ones who were watching him closely. Lily who was sitting infront of us, kept turning her head to look at him. _How strange…_

*

So the day went on; after dinner, Remus went off to the prefect meeting, James sat infront of the fire, just staring into it, and I got bored very quickly. It was only nine-thirty when I decided to head off to bed, there was just nothing to do, I'd done most of my homework and was just sitting there watching James.

It was a relief to lay my head down. I wasn't thinking about anything, which was how I liked it. I closed my eyes and was out cold in a matter of minutes.

I woke to voices, if I hadn't of felt the sun on my face, I would have thought that it was still night time, I was about to go off at Remus and James for waking me, but their conversation stopped me.

"Why didn't you tell us before…? No I take that back, why did you get _McGonogal_ tell us, why didn't you?" Remus sounded slightly hurt…

_What the…_

"Look, I've put it off for so long because I didn't think that it was something that I was _supposed _to tell you." James was speaking quite calmly.

"So why did we just find out then, I've been a prefect since fifth year, why haven't I heard about this before?"

"Because we think it'll get worse this year."

"And why is that?"

"I can't tell you that just yet. Look, Moony I'm sorry, I really am, but this time you have to trust me."

"I do Prongs, I do."

_That does it! _I pulled back the hangings around my bed. "What the hell are you two talking about?" I said.

Remus and James exchanged a look. Then Remus said. "You tell one of us, you tell it to all of us, James."

James sighed and looked at me. "Sirius I have to tell you something, it's about Charlie."

…

_**Well there it is,, please read and review… **__****_


	8. The Condition

_**So, here we are once again. Just a quick note before you read, I've tried my hardest to explain it as thoroughly as I could. I don't think I left anything out, which is good. And now you're probably asking, what in Merlin's name is she talking about… well then, by all means go ahead and read… **_

8: The Condition

_My head's full of thought  
Thoughts of you  
And I'm distracted so easy_

_**-'Will You Fall For Me?' by Delta Goodrem**_

I'd never been in St. Mungo's, I'd actually never paid attention to conversatons about people who have had a medical condition of any sort. I have no idea why, they were always soppy and sad stories about people who had run out of luck. I wish now that I had. I've always known that with being a witch or wizard, there was a lot of things that go a long with it, and not only good things like going to Hogwarts, but there were bad things as well. For example, the amount of health conditions rose. Although there wasn't any type of class at Hogwarts that speacialised in all of these conditions, you would assume that there'd be millions of books about them in the library. The thing is, I've never needed to know about them, everyone I know is in perfect health, or so I thought.

I sat there, shocked at first, confused and then it all went away and I became numb. This didn't answer any of the questions that I was hoping to get answered, it just added to them.

I always that she was special, unique, but not in this way. Charlie was special to _me_, there was no one else like her. And now her brother was confirming that for me. She _was___special, there were only a few like her in the entire wizarding world. You see, said my best-friend, Charlie has a… condition.

The Ginataric Condition.

I'd never heard of it, and I wish that I could have learnt about it under different cicumstances. From what my brain could process through my numbness, the Ginataric Condition only affected people with magic running through them, in simpler words, witches and wizards. But there was only about four or five people in the world who had it, it was just… unlucky that Charlie was one of them.

I looked up from staring at my hands, Remus was on the edge of his bed looking at James, James looked like he was breathing easier with every word that came out of his mouth.

"The Ginataric Condition is… well it's complicated," he said looking from Remus to me.

_I don't care how complicated it is, I want to know!!_

"Ok. When Charlie was young, she used to have a lot more magical abilities than a lot of people would have had at her age. We knew that something was wrong because every time she got to excited or angry, things would happen."

"What type of things?" I didn't even realise that I'd spoken until I closed my mouth.

"Well, if she got angry, things would break, like glass – especially glass. Once Dad had to replace all of the windows in the study."

"Why?"

"Different reasons. It could have been something as stressfull as my parents having a fight to simple things like there being no milk left in the fridge. But what happens is that she bottles up her emtotions – not on purpose, of course – until she has a sort of… attack. At the point of an attack, her emotions turn into a kind of magical force and it, explodes from her like an invisible energy, hence breaking everything around her."

_What?_ I wanted to know more, I wanted him to keep talking, but Peter came into the dorm and James was forced to stop.

"You guys coming or not? The first lesson starts in five minutes!"

We reluctantly got up off our beds and headed down to the dungeons for potions, but I wasn't taking in where I was going. I was so confused, I had a headache. Charlie had a medical/magical condition that no one had known about for the last sixteen years except for her family. I'd lived in the same house, shared the same fridge with her and this still came as a shock to me. It felt like someone had removed my brain for examinations and put a rock there as a substitute. I didn't know what I was doing in potions, I would have blown up the room if we were doing a practical lesson, thankfully we were copying a text from the blackboard. It barely registered that I was actually writing something, although I would look down at my parchment to discover I'd written something like 'condition' or 'attack' in the middle of a sentence. I think it was fair to say, I was a wreck. I needed James to say more, but there wasn't any time to talk. Our teachers were working us so hard that I was able to escape from the current whirlwind in my head and become involved in the lesson.

I would have expected the day to go slow, even more slowly than yesterday, but because of the removal of my brain, it went quite fast, I didn't look at a clock therefore didn't realise what the time was all day, well that was until I found myself walking down to the Great Hall for dinner.

This time, against my better judgement, I searched the Gryffindor table until I found her. She was sitting next to Tonks, and as always, Charlie looked perfectly normal. Or wasn't she normal? What if I'd just accepted that her strangness wasn't strange at all and just normal, for her? Ohh, there comes that headache again.

I sat down at the table next to Remus. He put his hand on my shoulder. I think that he felt guilty and he should, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be feeling like this right now. I picked at my food and watched, everyone was so happy, where as happinness felt millions of miles away from me.

So there I was, laying in bed, Remus had fallen asleep about an hour ago. James never finished his explanation. I looked around, his bed was empty. My forehead creased and I got out of bed and went over to the fire. I bent down and pulled up a loose floor board, under it was the Marauder's Map, our most prized and cherished possesion. It showed everyone in the castle and where they were. As softly as I could, I whispered the triger.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The map revealed itself and I opened it up looking for James' name. There it was, in a room on the fifth-floor corridor, and he wasn't alone. Next to his name was another's; Charlie.

_That's it! _I got up, still holding the map, picked up my wand from next to my bed and walked out of the dormitory, and out of the Common Room. James must have taken his cloak with him. But I'd walked around the castle at night so many times without being caught, that I didn't need the cloak anymore.

Walking about the castle at night was a mix between scary and peacfull. Everything was quiet and deserted. I looked down at the map regularly to check that everything was clear. My heart started to race as I got closer to James and Charlie's names.

As I'd been expecting them to be talking, I was surprised to hear nothing as I reached the room. The door was ajar so I only needed to push it softly to get into the room. It was like any other classroom, except for the fact that there was a great big, black grand piano placed in the centre of the room, facing towards the window. That wasn't the only thing peculiar about the room. At the very back of the room there was a door against the right wall. I saw a small, flickering light coming from it. A fire was the only thing that I could think of that would have been making it. I made my way, slowly and quietly over to the door.

The door was open just enough so that I could see what was inside. I quickly pulled away and rubbed my eyes, surely not. If it was real, then why? I stepped backwards, landing on a squeaky floor board. _Shit! _Someone from inside the room stirred and as I turned to leave the door opened.

"Sirius?"

I sighed and guiltily turned around to face James. So what I had seen was true.

"I'm sorry – I was just leaving – I didn't mean to…" I couldn't say anything else, I turned again to leave but was stopped.

"What – what did you see?" James asked. But I had a better question.

"Why isn't Charlie in her dorm?" That's what I saw. On the other side of the door, Charlie lay on a bed, sleeping. James had been sitting on a bean-bag before I'd come.

James sighed, but still looked a little angry. He passed me without speaking and went over to the main door. He mumbled something like 'ruddy thing… there for a reason.' Then he got out his wand, said 'Accio Sign' and a moment later was holding a sign that said 'Danger: Under Construction' in big red letters. He put it on the outside of the door, closed it and walked over to the piano and sat down on the stool. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair.

"I guess I never finished explaining, hey?" I couldn't do anything. A million thoughts were running through my head. I just stared at him, and let him continue. "Alright, well there is a _bit _more to the Condition then what I said earlier."

_A bit!?_

"When Charlie was about nine, my parents bought a piano, just as a house decoration, you know. Charlie was having at least three minor attacks a week, it wasn't under control, but after my parents bought the piano, they noticed that Charlie's attacks were lessening."

"Why?"

"Well, it took them a while to figure it out. But they researched the Ginataric Condition a little more and found out that people with the condition can control their emotions to some degree. They just need to find a release."

"A release?"

"A way to safely get rid of their bottled-up emotions. An out-let of sorts," he paused before continuing. "For some people their release is playing sport, or painting… Charlie's is playing the piano."

"Wait a second," I said taking a step towards him. "I've lived with you for the past two years and not once have I heard a piano being played."

"No, you wouldn't have."

I looked at him, confused.

"People with this Condition keep their emotions very private, that's one of the main symptoms that goes along with having it. They don't want anyone else to know what they're feling, and more imprtantly, they can't. So if someone's release was painting, then they'd probably destroy what they've painted right after they'd created it, because if someone saw it, then they'd know what they were feeling. We put a silencing charm on the piano as soon as we found out that it was her release."

He looked up to see me standing there looking like an idiot with my mouth hanging open. All this has been happening right under my nose for years and I never had the slightest suspicion.

James put his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry Pads, I wouldv'e told someone but I –"

"It's alright Prongs, I understand." Although I'm not sure that I did, but I still walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"I think you should get back, we're the only ones who are allowed to be out here at this time of night," he said, not looking up as he spoke to me.

I nodded, said goodnight and walked out of the room without a backwards glance. I didn't stop walking until I was sitting back on my bed. How serious was this? What did I know? This was the first anyone had heard about it in six years. I put my wand and the map back on my bed-side table, kicked off my shoes and got into bed.

"You alright?" someone said calmly from the darkness.

"Yeah Moony… thank you." And that was it, after that I closed my eyes and went into an uneasy sleep.


	9. I Never Realized

_**Hello all out there so here's the ninth chapter, sorry it's taken a while for it to be put up. Just a small note, this chapter is kind of scattered all over the place, so hopefully it won't be too confusing. If it is just tell me : ) Enjoy…**_

9: I Never Realised…

_I'm wondering why I've waited so long  
Lookin' back I realize_

_It was always there, just never spoken_

_**-'Just So You Know' by Jesse McCartney**_

So the days passed. With great difficulty I had managed to accept that Charlie's condition was nothing that I should be worried about and James seemed more light-hearted now that he had told someone about it. It still didn't help that I continued to see Charlie almost every where, which was quite odd seeing as how last year it seemed that she wasn't even at Hogwarts. I couldn't explain it.

One morning, my mood took a turn for the worst when I sat down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. I looked around to see who had also got a late start to the morning, other than James and me. Many girls caught my eye and winked stupidly, I pretended that I hadn't seen them and kept sweeping the Hall. My eyes stopped on Charlie who was talking to Tonks about Tonks' cat – who was close to the pushing-up-daisies stage of life – when there was a great swooshing noise from above. I glanced up to see at least a hundred owls flying down into the Hall. I followed one when I noticed that it was heading towards Charlie.

As she read it, I felt anger tear up my insides. There was only one person who could make her look like that… Jo. Jo Hastington, what a horrible name. Over the last few weeks my insides had been sending me mixed messages about this name. My brain told me that I hated him because he was a rotten person; which I had no doubt that he was. But my heart insisted that the reason I hadn't taken a shine to him was because I was envious of him. They – my heart and head – were like two people who couldn't accept defeat and I was stuck in the middle of it, dodging the crossfire.

I was pulled out of my little brooding session when I heard my name being called from across the table.

"Sirius. Hey, Sirius!"

I looked around, it was Alice Prewett, one of Lily's – er – nicer friends. She looked concerned. But then again, who doesn't? I raised my eyebrows.

"Umm – You all right?" she asked, causing a few people to turn around. Marlene had joined her. Marlene had kept her distance from me ever since the term started, I was grateful for this.

"Yeah, yeah. Fine," I said, quickly returning to my food which I had hardly touched. I saw them exchange a concerned look, which was odd because I don't really speak to them all that much. I didn't let it bother me though.

At the start of the year I was dreading the amount of work that we'd be given, but now it was some sort of a relief. Work was the only thing – other than Quidditch which had started up a couple of weeks ago – that could clear my mind. I've always loved Quidditch; the way the air feels when it goes through your hair and how you're free to move through the air. It was my escape. Besides I loved good bit of competition. So I didn't mid going to classes anymore, or to the pitch to practice for Quidditch practice.

As the first Quidditch match drew closer, Jo Hastington was driven out of my mind and replaced with different strategies and tactics that could be used in the upcoming match which was against Ravenclaw. The one down-side of having a house that was meant for people with brains was that they also had smarts when it came to Quidditch as well. And this is what James constantly reminded us.

"These people aren't dumb, they will see our weaknesses and play the game according to them! The solution?"

"Get them before they get us?" Cameron Davis suggested, he was on of our beaters.

"We simply can't have any faults, can we?" said James.

_He's got to be joking! This isn't nationals! _But you could see that he was far from joking. So as well as the piles of homework that our teachers had us doing, we also had Quidditch practice two times a week. All I could say was that I hope we won.

I looked up from my food just in time to see Charlie walk past and tap James' hand which he had put out before she came. They always did this, every morning but I wasn't sure how long it had been going on. Although I kind of liked how they did it so casually without anyone really noticing. My eyes followed her out of the Hall and then looked back down to my food.

"Sirius, you ok? You look a bit… dead."

Remus, Peter and James were all looking at me, they all looked extremely worried.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I said, starting to get a bit annoyed at how often I got asked that question.

"See, I told you," said James smiling. "He's fine, but you didn't believe me," he added, clapping my back.

So they'd been talking about me, eh? So I haven't been in the best of moods lately. But surely I wasn't that bad. Or maybe I was? I've just been so confused lately. I needed to have my head put back on straight. Maybe I could just have an early trip to Hogsmeade, I knew how to get there and I'm sure James wouldn't mind me me borrowing his cloak. Although that would probably lead to rather awkward questions; so maybe not. I needed a Quidditch match. That was my new goal… to survive until the match against Ravenclaw.

The days had an odd pattern forming lately. They'd come in big clumps, then time would suddenly slow down. It was only half way through History of Magic that I realized tonight was the full moon. That means Peter, James and I would go with Remus and help him through the night. But that wasn't the only thing that came up. When the bell rang James, Remus and I left the classroom, we were all very tried as History of Magic lead to an hours worth of sleep. We'd just left when we heard people running towards us. We turned and to our surprise it was Alice and Marlene. I inwardly groaned as they stopped in front of us.

"Um, James, Remus, do you think we talk to Sirius alone for a little bit?" Alice asked.

My eyes widened. _No! Don't do this to me! Don't leave me!! _I screamed as James and Remus shrugged and said 'See you later,' James having a rather mischievous grin on his face.

Reluctantly I turned towards the girls.

"What?" I asked rather rudely. But I really didn't care.

"Sirius, to tell you the truth, we're worried about you," said Alice, motioning me to sit down on a bench. I looked from her to Marlene, who had been rather quiet and was avoiding my gaze.

"Really?" I said in a disbelieving voice.

"Look we – we aren't the only ones who've noticed you know. Basically everyone's noticed," said Marlene.

"Well isn't it lovely that I can go through my life without everyone sticking their noses in." I know I didn't sound all that friendly but, frankly, I didn't give a damn. I'd had enough of everyone asking me if I was ok and seeing worried faces everywhere I went. I got up to leave.

"Marlene told me!" Alice called after me.

I stopped mid-step and turned to her. Of course! I'd completely forgotten about the train. _Great! Soon everyone'll know! _I walked over and sat back down.

"So?" I said, still annoyed about the lack of privacy I had.

"Well we want to help, don't we?" snapped Marlene. "But if you don't want our help, we'll just leave."

I sighed. I knew that I needed help with this, and they were offering to help. "Alright."

It was lucky that there was a free next because I suddenly found myself telling two people who I'd not normally speak to, well, everything; everything from the holidays to Jo to now.

"And now I'm realizing things that I didn't before, like how close she is to James and how different she is to everyone else." I stopped my pacing, ! was almost going to let slip of Charlie's condition. But Alice was a prefect. "Alcie, d'you know… about…?"

Alice nodded, Marlene didn't look puzzled; they must have told her, Alice and Lily. So even Charlie's business hadn't been kept _her _business. I must've looked annoyed because Alice spoke up.

"Look, do you want my opinion?" she asked motioning for me to sit down again. As I sat, I looked at the ground. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you've always _noticed _these things, but you've just started _realizing _it now that you – well you know," she looked slightly uncomfortable as she said the last bit, but I think I understand what she was saying.

Maybe it's just that I've always seen Charlie but I've never realized her before. That I'd always seen her, but just never _seen _her. I took a deep breath and looked up at the two girls.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Well, as much as we dislike the normal Sirius," Marlene said. "We king of want him back."

I smiled. I was being missed. I felt a balloon of pride swell inside of me. As I looked up at Marlene and Alice I realized that I hadn't been doing a very good job of hiding my emotions. It was time to grow up. There were more important things to worry about other than Charlie.

I got up, smiling and looked at them. "Thanks," I said walking down the corridor. With every step that I took, my breathing became easier. I'd finally done it, I'd finally told someone about Charlie and what was going on inside of my screwed up head. But what would happen now? Merlin knows that privacy was a thing of the past. I felt regret come over me. I'd just told my inner most feelings to two girls who I'd never had a lengthy conversation with. _And after all that, you're still worrying?_ Alright, I'd stop worrying, or try my hardest not to…

*

I sat at dinner that night unusually calm. For the first time in months I heard the jokes that were being made around me; I could hear and see clearly. All these happy faces, I had only just asked the question as to why I hadn't been happy up till now. Looking down the table I found my answer. Some people say that when you fall for someone you discover a feeling you never knew you possessed. I hate to disagree with these people. I hadn't felt anything new so far, just the old feelings of confusion and frustration. But something deep down was telling me that I was going to.

Someone nudged me in the ribs. "You're staring again," came Remus' mutterings from beside me.

"Right," I mumbled. For some reason I still wished for my feelings to remain just that – feelings and not turn them into reality. The one way to do that, in this case, was to tell James. Or more importantly perhaps, James finding out how I felt about his one and only sister.

I quickly turned my attention back to the conversation at hand. James was talking to Shaun Simmons, a fellow seventh year about the upcoming Quidditch match.

"Yeah, I think we have a good chance to get them," James was telling Shaun. "We still have a few things to work on though," he stated as though it would be obvious to anyone.

"James, you'd say that even if we'd gone unbeaten all season," I said grinning.

"Well I'm sure it'd be just as true then as it is now," he said, eating the last bit of pie ad standing up. "Gentlemen if you'd excuse me," he said grinning sheepishly. "I happen to be on patrol tonight with Lily," his grin became wider as he spoke Lily's name.

We all laughed. "Well go knock her out with your charm then, James," I said.

His grin turned into a slight frown as he picked up on my sarcasm. "Hey, don't doubt my charming abilities!" he said turning to the closest girl he could find. This girl happened to be a giggly fifth year. "Excuse me," James said, getting her attention. "Do you find me charming?" He asked, causing the girl to turn a deep shade of scarlet and break out into a fit of giggles with the girl next to her. James, taking this as a yes, turned back face us. "See?"

It was our turn to laugh uncontrollably. I hadn't been this genuinely happy in months. It felt good to laugh again.

James turned on his heal and walked out of the Great Hall, closely followed by Lily.

Lily Evans, the girl I'm sure I'll never work out. Ever since she found out about Charlie's condition she'd been acting oddly. I mean, I thought that I'd taken the information badly, but Lily… Lily had started acting as though James had a death wish or something. She'd stopped glaring whenever someone said the name Potter, and she'd stopped trying to find reasons to put us in detention. I just couldn't understand it. Every time things like this happened I took quick glances at Alice and Marlene, and I was sure from their expressions, that they had just as much clue into Lily's behavior as I did. But, the truth is, that I really didn't want to or need to know. She's stopped shouting at us, that was enough for me. I turned my attention to the time and I suddenly realized just how many people were talking about the Quidditch match which was set for tomorrow.

Quidditch. I'd been playing for so long that you'd think I'd be ready for what's ahead of me, and that my nerves would be at a minimum. But for some reason I was unusually uncomfortable about the upcoming events. But I don't think it had anything to do with the match itself, having said that however, I don't know what it was. This confused and frustrated me so much. I needed to know what it was before the match tomorrow. I was just turning to Remus to tell him that I didn't feel well when something stopped me in my tracks.

"Nymph, if you ever go blond again, I'll kill you."

I looked up just in time to see Tonks change her hair from blond to her usual bubble-gum pink whilst laughing. Charlie's expression was blank as she was called from across the hall. She turned around as a Ravenclaw boy jogged towards her.

_Bloody ponce._

It was weird how everyone seemed to know who she was, even though Charlie didn't make her presence known to everyone like her brother did. And out of all the people who knew who she was, I could bet none of them disliked her.

As I watched Charlie, Tonks and the Ravenclaw walk out into the Entrance Hall, I knew, suddenly, what would make me feel better. I turned to Remus and pulled at his cloak.

"Let's go," I said standing up, pulling him with me so that his pie went flying. It hit a girl a little way down the table. She looked angry, but I didn't care, I needed to catch up to her.

"What-? Where are we going?" Remus asked as I dragged him out of the Great Hall. I ignored him, actions first, answers later.

I sighed in relief when I saw that Charlie and Tonks were still talking to Ravenclaw at the top of the marble stairs. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Remus look from me and up to Charlie.

"Sirius," he sighed, but I cut him off by walking up to the steps when Ravenclaw had left to go back to the Hall.

"Charlie!" I called, she turned and looked down at me as I skipped up the stairs, two at a time.

"Hello Sirius," she said softly, a small smile playing on her lips. "Is there something you want to tell me?" Charlie said after a few seconds of me, foolishly, standing and staring at her. I didn't mean to get lost in my head, she just looked so beautiful as the glow from the nearby candles shimmered on her hair.

"I-I was just… wondering whether you… were coming to the-the match tomorrow?" I stammered. Why couldn't I talk to her like a human being?

"Yes, of course," she said, not looking the least bit surprised. Tonks, on the other hand, looked a bit taken a back by my question.

I watched them walk away, Charlie whispered something to Tonks before parting with her and going down a side corridor.

I felt a wave of relief wash over me. That's what was bugging me. Somehow it felt wrong not having confirmation that she was coming tomorrow. I needed her to come and be there. As I thought this, staring straight ahead, I felt guilt consume me.

I was falling even more for my best-friend's little sister!


	10. God I Hate That Name

_**Hey all. Sorry it's been such a long time, but I've been rather busy with life and all that other stuff. So here's chapter ten. I am planning to have about 18 to 20 chapters so as soon as I get stuck into it, it won't be too long before my first fan fic is going to have a completed sign at the bottom of it.  
I hope you like this, please review. : )**_

10: God I Hate That Name

_I won't sit around  
I can't let him win now  
Thought you should know_

-_**'Just So You Know' by Jesse McCartney**_

I started off down the corridor, Remus at my heels, but I didn't look at him, I just kept my eyes fixed straight ahead of me.

"You know," said Remus, trying to keep up with me. "I don't see how this is going to work."

That did it, the anger that had been building up within me over the last few weeks had reached its limit. I stopped and turned to look at Remus through narrowed eyes.

"What do you think isn't going to work, Remus? Hmm?" I asked, my voice shaking with anger. "Please tell me. God only knows that I could do with your words of wisdom." I started again down the corridor.

Remus' face looked like a mixture between shook, hurt and acceptance. He knew, and I knew, that he deserved that. All he's done is make things go from bad to worse. I couldn't take it anymore. Him giving out help and advice and then not helping me.

I turned a corner, Remus probably deciding to go back to the common room to give me some time to cool off. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't care either. I was just so angry at myself. I thought I'd told myself to get over her mere hours before. This was insane. I liked her; I'd accepted that months ago, I didn't know how deep it went though. But that didn't matter. I shouldn't like her, not _her_, not Charlie. She was not only my _best-friend's baby sister_, who he was extremely protective of, but it was clear that her condition prevented her from showing _that _kind of emotion.

I stopped mid-step. A bubble of hope exploding in my chest. She'd shown Jo enough emotion over the holidays to give me some kind of optimism about how much emotion she could show and how much she kept hidden. I kept walking again, a new energy in my step.

Jo. I swore to myself months ago that I'd never name my child Jo. But, as much as I hated him, I felt grateful that I had met him. For the bubble in my chest was slowly filling.

_POP!_

The realisation hit me in the face as if I'd just walked into a wall. Jo… and Charlie. They were probably still together. He'd definitely been writing to her. He was the only one that could make her glow like she did when she was reading his words. And James was showing no sign of contempt towards him, which I'm sure would happen if – and when – they did brake it off.

Cursing, I looked up to find myself standing in front of the Gryffindor portrait. The Fat Lady was looking down at me with a disgusted look, obviously from my cursing. I muttered the password and kept my head down as I crossed the common room to the stairs. I could hear my name being called but I neither cared nor wanted to care about what they had to say.

I got to the top of the stairs and wrenched the door open. The dormitory was completely empty besides Remus who was on his bed reading some book. I stormed across the room, blood boiling from anger and frustration, and kicked my trunk so that it collided with the wall and sprang open. This however, did nothing to improve my temper. In fact my mood had just gotten worse thanks to my right foot which was now throbbing painfully. I sat down on the edge of my bed, brooding about all the bad luck that was going on in my life. How could, in the space of only a few minutes, my mood go from happy beyond belief to miserable? I just didn't understand it.

"I'd ask how you're feeling, but I'm pretty sure that I can figure it out by myself."

I put on my most evil looking glare and turned to Remus. He looked away from me as soon as I started my glaring.

"Just trying to help," he mumbled.

"Just trying to help?" I exclaimed, getting up quickly. Pain shot up my foot, I sat back down. "Trying to help! Ha! What a laugh! Don't dare try to tell me that you _actually _think you're helping. Because, believe me, if you've convinced yourself that you have helped in any way, I may just think about sending you to the physc ward at St. Mungo's!" I had to stop to catch my breath. Remus looked quite surprised; he'd closed his book and was now looking at his hands. _He deserves this! _I turned away from him and looked out the window in the other direction.

I guess walking in through the door of your dormitory and noticing two of your best friends looking in opposite directions would be a bit startling. James' smile quickly disappeared from his face and was replaced by a look of utter confusion. He didn't take his eyes off the pair of us whilst he crossed the room and kicked off his trainers.

"Umm," was all that he managed to get out before stopping as I got up off my bed.

"Excuse me James; I'm afraid the air's gotten a bit too cold in here for me." I slammed the door behind me and limped down the stairs. James probably thought I was angry. No, no, I was way past angry. I was livid!

He was mental if he thought he'd helped. Sure, Remus had sent me a life-jacket, but he'd taken off and left the job of saving me to someone else. The problem was I had no one to help me. Alice and Marlene had come a long and thrown me some food. They hadn't really stayed to help. So what were my options? I could either stay stranded in the middle of the ocean or try to swim to the nearest piece of land. That would require me to help myself. Great! I couldn't even ask James to help because he was the one who held the pin that could burst my life-jacket!

When I looked up from the ground I found myself half-way a long a deserted corridor. Still limping, I decided to take a trip to the Hospital Wing. My foot was still throbbing and I think I'd sprained my ankle. I looked up from mumbling to the floor to see a figure ahead of me. They weren't going fast but were turning the corner when I caught up with them.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw their face. She looked over her shoulder, face as blank as ever; when seeing no one, she started off down the hall again. I came out from behind the wall where I'd been hiding behind. What in Merlin's name was Charlie doing down here at this time of night? But – Of course! She was in the room; the Outlet Room – or so I'd been calling it. But why? How long's she been in there? I continued down the hall as I thought.

I opened the Hospital Wing doors and limped in.

"Hey? Is anyone here?" I called out, frustrated that I had been met by an empty room. "HEY!"

That did it, Madam Pomfrey came bustling out of her office looking like she could kill me without a second thought. She was already on her rant as she hurried towards me.

"How dare you!... Come in here… dead of night… No respect these days!" She ushered me to the closest bed and regained her calm. "Now, Mr Black, what gives you the need to come bursting in here in the dead of night and shout at the top of your lungs?"

The true answer to this all came down to frustration and exhaustion but I wasn't about to tell her that.

"I-I think I sprained my ankle," I told her keeping my head down, I've never liked angry woman. The last thing I needed was an interrogation as to how I got this way.

She huffed as she looked down at my ankle. "That it is it?" she asked, annoyed that I had bothered her for such a small thing.

I suddenly realised that walking into the Hospital Wing at ten o'clock at night and yelling upon arrival wasn't the best idea I've come up with.

I left the Hospital Wing five minutes later fully healed. Although, I was still mad at Remus. I began to hope that he was already asleep because if he wasn't then I'd rather be back in the Hospital Wing.

I was met by a near-empty common room. I sighed in relief when I noticed that there were only a couple of sixth years in the corner and I made my way over to the armchair near the fire.  
I know, I know, it was late, nearly eleven, and I did have Quidditch the next day, but the fear that Remus or James would still be awake kept me in the armchair. I didn't want to do anything, speak to anyone; I just wanted to sit here forever. Unfortunately however, I _couldn't _stay here for the rest of my days, and twenty minutes later I made my way up to bed.

Both Remus and James were asleep. I breathed lighter but still managed to be quiet as I got ready for bed. I fell asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow.

*

I woke to darkness and knew from the headache I had that I hadn't gotten the best sleep. I rolled on my side and looked out the window. There was a pink tinge to the horizon, so I knew that it was at least five o'clock. I huffed in frustration as I turned back around again. This was the last thing I needed; to be tired before a match!

I managed to drag myself out of bed and headed for the shower. I still had no intention to speak to Remus, so I was kind of glad that I had woken up so early. As I felt the heat of the water cascade down my back, all thought of time left me. By the time I decided to leave some water for James and got out of the shower, I realised that I'd enjoyed thirty minutes of undisturbed peace.

Being as quiet as I could possibly manage I put on my Quidditch robes and picked up my broomstick before crossing the room and shutting the door behind me. I figured that I'd head down to the kitchens seeing as it was still twenty minutes till breakfast.

My bad mood had stayed with me during the night as my dreams were flooded with Charlie's face and I was now entirely grateful that James couldn't do legilimens.  
Why? Why me? Two years! Two years I'd been living with this girl! Why now? But it's ok, it's only a crush. _Is it? _Of course it is! Of course. There was nothing to worry about.

I entered the kitchens and was met immediately by half a dozen house elves waiting to serve me breakfast. I saw a familiar face.

"Hey Flump," I called out. Flumpy was one of the house elves that James, Remus, Peter and I had come to know over the party filled years. Flumpy was short with enormous elephant ears and was now racing towards me.

"Hello Master Sirius. Flumpy is verys happy to see you again, sir," he squeaked. "And Miss Charlie is heres too! Flumpy will go makes us breakfast!"

My eyes had grown so wide and my heart felt like it was going to explode. I turned back to the entrance. Charlie was, indeed, standing in the doorway smiling over at me. I returned the smile whole-heartedly. _What luck, huh?_

Charlie made her way over to one of the long tables that represented the four house tables in the Great Hall and I had no choice but to follow suite. I sat down across from her. Her eyes sparkled in the light as she took in her surroundings. I cleared my throat which had become peculiarly dry. "So, what are you doing down here at this time of day?" I mentally kicked myself. What a stupid question! Why? Why did I have to start the conversation with _that type _of question?

"I could ask you the same thing," she said, still smiling, obviously not fazed by my question.

"Oh, um, I just wanted to get down to the pitch early, that's all." Part of this was true, though I decided to leave out the part of how I couldn't sleep. Although I had to admit, Charlie looked a lot better in real life than in my dreams. _Stop thinking about that! There'll be time for that later! Like when she's NOT sitting right in front of you!! _

My eyes hadn't left hers once since she sat down, her eyes however seemed to be going everywhere but into my own.

"Flumpy has breakfast Misses, Mister." And so he did. A variety of cereals, bacon, eggs and a dozen pancakes.

"Thank you Flumpy," said Charlie as she took a plate and helped herself to some pancakes. She did everything with such grace it was incredible.

I tore my eyes away from hers in order to get some food. I didn't feel well, and I didn't think it had anything to do with the game.

"So Ravenclaw today. That's going to be a good game."

It wasn't me who started the conversation this time. I looked up to see Charlie waiting for an answer. "Um, yeah. Should be." Damn my tongue, why? Where's all my good-luck charms gone? Then a thought came to me. "I'm going to the pitch to get in some extra practice before the game. You're welcome to join me," I said, trying to sound casual instead of hopeful.

"Sure, sounds like fun." With that she started eating again.

*

It didn't take long before my list of fantastic jokes came back to me. I just loved to hear her laugh that I'd do anything to hear it just for a second. We left the kitchens laughing and I felt completely, strangely happy. Maybe my day was going to turn out alright after all.

As we entered the school grounds the wind hit me like a white-hot knife. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Charlie tighten her scarf against her neck. We talked until we got to the stands, where I reluctantly left her to go and get changed into my playing robes.

Who could've known that I could have gone from being annoyed because of her, to being so over-the-moon just because I had breakfast with her? I couldn't get the smile to leave my face; my stomach had butterflies that I didn't even think of getting rid of.

I left the change-rooms and immediately looked up into the stands. Charlie wasn't one of these girls who put on sophisticated clothing. She wore black jeans and a black long-sleeve shirt with a hot-pink scarf. She was easy to spot and waved as soon as I looked at her. I suddenly felt extremely nervous. What if I stuffed up whilst training? I didn't want to make a fool out of myself in front of her. _She's been watching you and James play Quidditch for the last three years! _I breathed in and mounted my broom, a Quaffle under my arm and pushed from the ground.

Flying; I think I liked it so much because it felt like I had such freedom in the air. People can corner you on the ground; it was a lot harder to do in the air. I flew over to where Charlie was sitting.

"Hey, d'you know how to throw?" I called out to her.

"Sirius, I live with James!" she laughed. There was no doubt in my mind that James had made her help him with Quidditch practice before.

I laughed and threw her the Quaffle. I did a lap around the pitch before she threw the Quaffle into the air. I soared after it to catch it. I spun around to see her laughing as I caught the ball clumsily.

It was funny that, even though she had this condition, she was still able to laugh like that. Though James did say that she could express some sorts of emotions but not others. Well, I didn't care, I was just glad that she was showing these emotions.

I didn't know how long we were out there, but by the time we finished and I went back to the change-rooms, the sun had risen and was now shining brightly. This was one of those rare, hot days that came in autumn, perfect Quidditch conditions; good visibility, next to no wind and no humidity to speak of. This day was going from good to great. That was until the change-room door opened and "Sirius!"

I turned and was surprised to see that the owner of the angry voice was none other than James. I raised my eyebrows as he motioned me over to the corner of the room. My stomach dropped in realisation. He'd seen Charlie alone in the stands. This was it. I was gone! About to be beaten up by my best friend and God knows I deserved it. But when he turned to me he looked almost sympathetic. I looked at him, confusion etched in my face and stomach as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Sirius I don't mean to be forward, but…what have you and Charlie been doing?" He asked softly.

Oh no! He knew! But how… Remus!! The werewolf told him! After this I swore I'd find him and beat _him _up!!

"Um, we had breakfast and then she helped me practice a bit." I didn't see the point in lying to him. But then again it didn't seem too bad.

"And how did she – how did she seem? Emotion wise?"

This was definitely not the question I had been expecting. But again, I answered truthfully.

"She looked, happy." I had to stop myself from rattling off all the other things she looked: sweet, beautiful, perfect.

James looked at me with softened eyes. "Look Sirius, I know that this can be hard, but I need you to understand." He paused as he revealed his watch. The glass had cracked. "I just went up to see her."

It hit me like the wind outside had first hit me. "Charlie – Charlie, she did that?" I said weakly.

James nodded.

"But – but I thought it was only when she got angry?"

"No. Happiness is a strong enough emotion," he said. "Look just – just for the time being, I need her to be calm."

I looked at him, confused, yet again.

"Please Sirius," he asked with such sincerity like I'd never known was in him, that it was impossible to question him any further.

"Alright mate."

_**So how was it? I know that not a lot happened in this chapter but I just need a couple of bridge chapters in between the important ones. Please tell me how it was.  
Vic : ) **_


	11. Another Brother

_**Well, I'm back. What can I say, it's been a really long time since my last update and I'm really sorry for that. I had my school certificate exams. For those who don't know what they are they're basically like the Owls that Hogwarts have. But here it is. Thanks for being so patient with me… enjoy!! **_

11: Another Brother

_**I dedicate this chapter to the complete song 'All I Got' by Newton Faulkner.**_

_And I know I tend to rush straight in  
I just don't know where to begin  
When everyone is you, everyone is_

It'd been one of those days; you know those ones where, at the end of the day you have both very good news and extremely bad news. I could've told myself the good news that we'd won against Ravenclaw with a good two-hundred points between us – or be reminded of the bad new – I had to keep Charlie as calm as possible, this basically mean 'keep away from her!' But it still bothered me. Why was it _me _who had to keep her calm? What would happen if she didn't keep calm? Was it just a case of her having to spend a bit more time in the Outlet Room? All I wanted to do was spend time with her. No! No I _don't _want to spend time with her! I can't like her, not even a little bit. Even though I'd told myself this almost every time I laid eyes upon Charlie, it was becoming harder to convince myself that this was just a passing fancy with every fading moment.

"Sirius! I don't know what you're moping about, but quit it will you? We won!" I was brought out of my thoughts by none other then Kemp McKinnon, the proud Quidditch captain. We had been met by a very rowdy and excited common room after the match.

It didn't take me long to find everyone. I'd successfully avoided Remus so far and James, knowing that we weren't talking (although he didn't know why we'd decided to give each other some silent treatment) didn't push me into replaying the match to him. So I'd come over here to get away from everything. But this proved to be a complete waste of time as it only took ten minutes before I spotted her over in a corner talking to Jeff Coroner, a fellow beater on the team. He was making jokes, which she was laughing at, much to my disappointment.

So here I was, sitting at a table looking at the one thing I'd been told not to hassle, but I wanted to go over and start hearing her laugh at _my _jokes, not some idiots.

Suddenly winning the match didn't seem as exciting as it did half an hour ago. Everything was getting a bit too loud for me, I needed to get out of her. I got up and headed for the door. I passed Remus on the way. I hadn't spoken to him all day and I wasn't in any rush to start now. I was just about to climb out of the portrait hole when I heard my name.

"Sirius wait!"

I turned around to see Remus looking extremely awkward.

"Look I'm really sor-"

I never heard the end of his apology as I slammed the portrait closed. I was tired and just couldn't stand him at the moment. I stepped out into the cold, quiet corridor. I sighed in relief as I ran my hand through my hair. This is something I could stand.

"Fancy meeting you here."

I spun around to see James sitting on the floor next to the Common Room entrance. _This _is where he went. I hadn't seen him in hours.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Probably the same reason as you I suppose."

I looked at him, confused; James usually loved the attention that came with winning a game, any game.

He sighed. "Just been thinking."

"About what?"

"Oh you know, the usual; birthdays and stuff like that," he said lightly.

"What? Who's birthday?" I knew it wasn't James', his birthday wasn't until February.

" Charlie turns sixteen in two weeks," he said, holding up two fingers to get the message across. There was a small but weary smile playing around his mouth.

I, incredibly, found myself smiling. It was her birthday. In two weeks! _Oh Merlin, I better get her something! _My stomach felt extremely light as I looked at the opposite wall.

"Sirius, you alright?" James asked.

All I could do was nod. I felt so guilty, I liked his sister, who was already with a complete jerk and I couldn't tell anyone.

"Well, I think I might head back in," James said getting up. "You comin'?"

I looked up at him. "Nah, I think I might stay here for a while longer."

"Oh, alright then." And with that he was gone.

_Damn! _I was in way to deep here! I've already tried heaps of things to try to get over this. I tried denying the fact that I even like her; failed. I tried to avoid her; another failure. I tried to get help; a major failure. I mean, what else is there to fail at?

_I could just tell her?_ That was definitely out of the question! She has a boyfriend. Number one rule: Never steal another guy's girl, that makes one more enemy, and I already have to many of those too handle.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by someone walking down the corridor. I didn't look up, I didn't move at all. My mind and body just didn't want to do anything. I just listened as the footsteps got louder, louder and stopped.

"Hey, you alright?"

_Ahh good old Lily._

"Sirius?"

I looked up. She seemed a bit concerned not to say confused that I was sitting out here by myself. "What? Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, looking back at the wall opposite me.

"Funny, you don't look fine," she said, sitting down next to me. I didn't look at her but kept my eyes fixed straight ahead. I didn't know whether I wanted to speak to her or not. But, no harm ever came from talking to a friend, right?

"What's wrong? Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to guess?" She said kindly.

"Are you telling me that Marlene and Alice have finally decided to stay out of my life then?" I asked, finally looking at her.

Her mouth turned into the perfect "o" shape as it clicked in her head. I mocked an understanding wave of the hand. "Now she gets it"

"This is about you and Charlie, yeah?" she asked hesitantly as she looked at me. I could feel her eyes burning my cheeks as I nodded. "You like her a lot, hey?" She said, searching my face.

I held up two fingers. "Only a little bit." As I said it I knew, deep down, that what I was saying wasn't true. I pushed that feeling further down as I saw Lily raise her eyebrows.

"Are you sure?"

"I dunno, Lils. I'm just so confused."

"Believe me I know what you're going through," she said with a soft laugh.

I turned to her, confused.

"A couple of years ago I started to like Marlene's brother. It was dreadful. I mean I liked him, a lot, but then I thought of his last name and I felt sick."

I couldn't believe my ears and I found myself smiling. "You? You liked Kemp?"

"'Liked' being the main word. I got over him eventually." She looked at me again. "But I don't think that what you're feeling is quite like what I was."

"How d'you mean?" I asked, looking back at the wall.

"Sirius, come on." Lily stopped, when I didn't do anything she continued. "Sirius, I've seen the way look at her, the way you smile when she does."

At this, I closed my eyes. I had been the world's most obvious person over the last month.

"Look all I'm trying to say is that, are you sure that this is just a crush, or is it something more?"

"What, you mean love?" I asked her seriously.

"Well there's one way to find out. Next time you see her just ask yourself, do you like her smile, or do you love it?" And without waiting for a response, Lily Evans got up and walked away.

*

I avoided all eye contact the next morning at breakfast. The conversation with Lily kept playing over and over in my head. Was it true? Was what I was feelin love? What the hell is love? I've never been in love before, so how do I know if I'm in love now?

Lily had made it sound so easy to find out. Just look at her smile and you'll know. _Yeah right!_

Thankfully I had some distractions to help me. Kemp was making us train harder to prepare for the second Quidditch match of the season that was in two weeks. And the first Hogsmeade weekend was scheduled for the end of the week. This meant that I could get Charlie her present. It had to be something really nice, but I had no clue what it was going to be.

After Charlie's birthday there would be only three weeks until we got to go home for the Christmas break. I still couldn't believe how fast the time had gone, even with all the seventh years preparing for their NEWTs.

As we left for first period I was pulled aside be none other than Remus. I knew immediately that there was no point in trying to run for it, because he'd only do this again later. So, instead, I just stood there waiting for him to say something.

"Look, I know you're angry," he started. "And you have every right to be, especially with me. I haven't been there to help you and I should've been. But I just didn't want to interfere. I didn't know how much you liked her." He looked up at me, his eyes pleading with mine.

I sighed in defeat. Not liking someone was just too much hard work(Slytherins' excluded) "Oh, alright."

His face broke into a smile as we started walking again. "But next time you help, alright?" I said.

"Sure mate, anything."

The rest of the week flew past, one boring day after another. Lily's words kept repeating in my head as if it was a mantra of sorts. 'Do you like it, or do you love it?' That was the big question. And I had no clue what the answer was. But I should, shouldn't I?

It was amazing, this time last year I was bored out of my skull, and then all of a sudden a million things were happening at once. I had a head and heart war going on, my NEWTs were coming way to fast for my liking and Charlie's birthday was just one week away!

I hadn't ever gotten Charlie a gift before, and I don't know what James would think of me now. But hopefully, by getting her something, we could become a bit closer. I still had no clue what I was going to get her though. With any luck I'd be able to find something in Hogsmeade this weekend. But that only gave me two days to find something. All I needed to do was to quietly slip away from James so I could find something for her in peace.

As these thoughts rolled on through my mind I looked around the Great Hall, searching for nothing in particular. But as always, my eyes found her. I'd never noticed before this term but she always seemed to have the same chain around her neck. I'd seen what the pendant was but never paid enough attention to picture it in my mind. All I knew was that she never took it off, so a necklace was definitely out of the picture.

*

I headed down to the Entrance Hall on Saturday morning feeling anxious and unusual. I still had no idea what or how I was going to buy for Charlie's birthday present, hopefully I could get away from James without getting him suspicious. My plan originally was to create a diversion by lighting the Three Broomsticks on fire, unfortunately I was dumb enough to tell Remus my master plan. He didn't think that Madam Rosmerta would appreciate her home being burnt to ashes, even if James and I were her favorites. So I decided to go with plan B and to test my acting skills.

The snow had been falling for a few days now and the ground had been covered three inches deep, so making our way through Hogsmeade was difficult and by the time we walked through the doors of the Three Broomsticks, the day had almost finished. Which didn't give me much time to get out of here, look for a present and get back to Hogwarts before James, Remus and Peter did.

_Boy this is so much work! If I go through this every time I get a "crush", I'm going to get really fit really fast!_

"Four Butterbears, thanks"

"Oh, um, three James. I'm not feelin' good." I sat down with Remus and Peter whilst James went and got the drinks.

Remus gave me a knowing look as he accepted his drink from James. I knew that this would be my only chance to get away. I put on my best sick look and clutched my stomach. I was so relieved when James noticed me, I didn't trust my acting skills.

"Pads, you don't look so good," he said sitting down.

"I don't feel well either," I said weakly. "I think I might go." I got up from the table. "I'll see you later." I walked over towards the door as slowly and as casually as I could.

As I reached the street I started into a fast pace. I still didn't know where the hell I was going. But I had to be fast if I didn't want to be discovered by the others. I started my walk down the High Street and realized how hard it was trying to find gifts for girls. What else was there other than jewelery? I continued to rack my brain for an idea as I made my way through the streets. I went past Honey Dukes and Madam Malkins. _I could get her a dress? Nah, wouldn't work in the slightest._

Then it hit me. I'd only been there once and we left early because James was complaining that the dust had been getting to him. I wasn't even sure where it was, or if it was still there, the threat of the impending war scared a lot of people out of business.

I walked for at least ten minutes before I found it. Its green paint had faded from years in the snow and even from the outside I could see the layer of dust upon the shelves. I held my breath as I walked in.

I coughed as I walked through the threshold and was met by instant warmth. I looked towards the counter and, just like last time, the frail looking shop keeper was standing there smoking a long pipe of tobacco. He looked shocked when he realized that someone had come into his shop, even more so, that that person was a student. He slowly made his way over to me as I started to browse through the shelves.

"Hello m'boy, what can I do for you?" he wheezed.

"Um, I was trying to find a birthday present for a … a um, friend," I stumbled, not knowing what to say.

His face showed a cheeky grin as he led me to the other end of the store, claiming that he knew the perfect thing. I hated to disagree with him, but I didn't think that a two hundred year old hair brush would be the best thing to give Charlie. I had to say the same for the muggle wrist watch and the dog with a bobble-head, that he also suggested. As he led me through the shop once more I skimmed the passing shelves when the shine of its glass caught my eye.

It was just visible beneath the layer of dust that covered it, and even though it wasn't all that big I stopped and stared at it. The box that it sat in was the size of my palm, its black velvet had become grey with time, but its contents hadn't changed at all, it seemed.

The stem of the glass flower rose up out of the darkness of the box and glimmered in the dim light of the shop. It revolved slowly as the petals cast lights on my face.

I had found the perfect gift. It matched Charlie in every possible way: beautiful, magnificent and full of life.

I left the shop two minutes later.

*

Throughout the rest of the week I took every opportunity to go to my dorm and check up on the rose. It seemed as if Saturday couldn't come quick enough. That now I had the present with my, time had decided that Charlie's birthday didn't matter any more, that it could take as long as wanted to get to it.

I had shined the rose so that it was dust free and restored the box to its original dark shade of black; it was complete and ready to be handed over to her.

When Saturday finally decided to come I had no idea what to do. When did I give it to her? Did I send it to her room? Did I want to give it to her? Of course I wanted to give her the present. I wanted to see her face.

I went down to the Great Hall that morning looking for her. I'd put the rose box in my robes and I'd give it to her whenever I felt like it. I did not want to plan this. Planning was for people like Remus who had no life and way too much time on their hands.

But as I walked into the Great Hall something didn't feel right. As I looked down the Gryffindor table I spotted James and Charlie. He was holding her hand as he read a letter. He face showed the tiniest bit of emotion but I couldn't place what it was. A pit of worry began to form in my chest. As I sat down next to them I heard James tell her not to worry and that he'd see her later.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking at the letter as Remus sat down next to me.

"Nothing, Charlie's just being herself, and so is Jo," he said, re-reading the letter.

"James, d'you want to talk about it?" Remus asked tentatively.

James looked up from the letter and eyed us both before sighing. "Jo's giving Charlie a 'surprise' for her birthday. He knows that she hates surprises."

I let out a snort before I could stop myself. _How dare he! _He's supposed to be her loving boyfriend and he's not even going to give her a present!

"And what was that for?" James snapped. I was surprised by his sudden defensiveness.

"Our young Sirius here is under the impression that Charlie and Jo are currently are, erm, together," Remus said. I glared at Remus, that was not something that was supposed to get out into the open.

James' face, however, went from snappy and defensive to completely amused before beginning a fit of laughter that didn't stop until tears had started running down his cheeks.

"What so funny then?!" I said standing up. Remus just told him my biggest fear and he just laughs in my face!

"Jo and – and Charlie?" James gasped, trying to regain his regular breathing.

I looked over at Remus, I could tell by the look on his face that he was just as lost as I was. But I had a strange feeling that we were about to get another explanation.

When James recovered he cleared his throat and motioned for us to follow him out of the Hall. He stopped in the first empty corridor we came to. He turned to us.

"First of all, I really have to thank you Padfoot. That was the funniest thing to come out of your mouth in a long time." He paused to read our confusion before continuing. "Now, I get how you might have been lead to believe that, but maybe I should clear it up a bit." He sat down on the nearest window ledge. "The thought of Charlie and Jo being together is… well it's absolutely ridiculous actually. Because," James added quickly when he saw my face. "Jo is Charlie's Ginatris."

"Her what?!" Remus and I called out at the same time. _What the hell is this?_

"Throughout their life a person with the Ginataric condition find one person who they can act normally around. This person helps them with their condition even more that their release does. And these people are called a Ginatris."

"So Jo helps Charlie?" Remus asked, sitting down next to James. James nodded.

"And that means that they can't be together as a couple?" I said, trying not to sound as hopeful as I was beginning to feel.

"Exactly, the bond that a Ginatric shares with their Ginatris can't go beyond the most advanced form of friendship. Jo's kind of like our adopted brother in a lot more ways than one."

"That's why you laughed at me?" I asked.

"Umm, yeah! Of course I laughed at you. You suggesting that they were together is like you saying that Charlie and I were going out. Actually it's quite gross."

And now that I thought about it, I felt extremely embarrassed. After all this time, after all the beating myself up, they weren't even together. They never have and apparently never will. How stupid of me! _But how could I have known? _After the way they acted together, anyone would've come to the same conclusion. Even Remus did!

The another emotion took hold. For the rest of the day I felt as if I had been granted my one and only wish. Charlie didn't have a boyfriend! There was hope at the end of the tunnel, rain at the end of the drought.

By the time night had come, I still hadn't been able to wipe the smile off my face as I sat down in front of the fire. As I sat down something stuck into my side. I took the small black box out of my robes and searched the room. As I was hoping Charlie was in the far right corner and she was alone. I looked around again for any un-friendlies (aka James) and when the coast was clear I took a deep breath and stood up.

"Bit late to be doing homework isn't it?" I said as I sat down next to her.

She looked up at me and smiled, putting the parchment that she was working on in her bag. "Hi."

"Hi," I said studying her face. "I just realized that I never got a chance to say 'Happy Birthday' today."

"Aw, you didn't have to do that Sirius."

"That's not all," I said holding up a hand to make her stop. I took the box out of my pocket and gave it to her. "Happy Birthday," I whispered to her as she opened it.

She beamed as the rose grew up out of the black velvet and – much to my surprise – enveloped me in a hug.

The feeling came to me as easily as the sun would come to the dawn of day. And I knew I that brief second that I, Sirius Orion Black was unconditionally, unexplainably in love with the one and only Charlie Maurene Potter!

_**So, did you like it? Was it worth the wait?? Please tell me what you thought. You know how much I love your reviews!! : )**_


	12. Show Me The Way

_**Hey, me once again! Here is the twelfth chapter. Now please if you could struggle through the first part and too the end, that would mean a lot to me. I needed some filler thoughts in the first part of this chapter. Hopefully you won't be disappointed. Thanks… **_

12: Show Me The Way

_**I dedicate this chapter to the song "God Damn You're Beautiful" by Chester See**_

_Plus I get weak in the knees,  
Fall head over heels baby,  
And every other cheesy clichè_

Over the next couple of weeks the war that had been going on inside my head had come to an end. I felt more at peace with my self than I had been in my whole life. Everything was clear and made sense now. I started doing better at Quidditch, at my schoolwork and the number of times I saw Charlie each day made me even more cheerful. Although James did notice, I think I'd have to tell him soon which was something I'd been putting off ever since this started.

I began to see other things in a different light. For instance, I had a new respect for Tonks. I always wondered why she never visited Charlie during the holidays. It was only now that I understood. Tonks gave time for Charlie and Jo to be together. She stood back and accepted the fact that she was not the only friend that Charlie had, and certainly not the most important. No wonder she'd been put into Gryffindor.

Now that I fully understood why Charlie needed those letters that she got from Jo; why she looked the way she did when she read his words; why she acted the way she did when with him, I didn't hate him as much. He was her ultimate release. I hoped that, if she were free of the condition that she would act that way in the presence of everyone.

Jo Hastington. Not two weeks ago I was expressing my undying hatred towards him. Now, I was eternally grateful to him. He had shown me the true Charlie even if I didn't fully understand what I was seeing at the time.

I found myself, and everyone else for that matter, awaiting their return home for Christmas. It was only one week until I returned to the Potters and their spectacular home and this time I'd promised myself that I wouldn't act like an idiot. I wouldn't act like an idiot towards Remus, Jo and even James, who was getting more suspicious by the minute.

"Happy again this morning I see," he said as we sat down for breakfast one morning.

"Nice day that's all," I told him, looking around. Charlie was sitting with Tonks, I couldn't watch her for very long; I was very conscious of the fact that James was watching my every move. He'd been doing this for the last week or so, trying to figure out why my mood had changed so dramatically. But, I had to admit that I was still somewhat unhappy. My secret was still just that, a secret. No one knew, although I thought that some had their suspicions, after all Remus was not a dumb person. So the problem still remained. When and how would I tell her? Because I _was _going to tell her. That was another promise that I'd made to myself.

Classes seemed to be going much more quickly these days, so I wasn't troubled about the large amount of tedious work that our professors had us doing. I didn't seem to be worrying as much about the NEWTs as everyone else was. James as relaxed about it as well. But then again, I'd never actually seen him get anxious about any tests before.

James' mood seemed to be growing less James-like by the day. He was becoming more distant and spending more time with his sister than with us. That got us worried, James was always with us but now we were seeing him less each day. And we weren't the only one's noticing. Lily was growing as concerned as us. There was no denying it now; Lily_ did_ have feelings for him. We all knew it, but the strange thing was that it seemed as if James wasn't even noticing her anymore. But we all laid off him. He'd tell us what was going on in his own time. Till then, we had to put up with his abnormality. Between Remus' furry little problem, James' mood swings and my noticing how beautiful Charlie was, I really had no other worries, besides the NEWTs of course. True I didn't really care what was going to happen in my life after school and all, but the thought of becoming an Auror was still there. Therefore I had to work hard to get good NEWTs. All the teachers began stressing about how our future all comes down to these exams. And although we looked relaxed, the Marauders were just as nervous as everyone else.

The library was mow quickly becoming my second home. I even had my own desk right in the back corner. Everyone knew that it was mine so it was always there, free. Isn't it funny how everyone seemed to notice me, except the one person who I wanted to.

That always seemed to be the case. Everything that ad happened this term was just so inconvenient because of her. But although she'd done so much to make me tired, grumpy and all together lousy, I could never be mad at her. And trust me I've tried to, it just didn't work. A little while back I just decided that one of the ways to maybe get my mind off her was to pick out her faults. It wasn't soon after that I realized that I was running my head in just trying to find her flaws. Even her condition was a plus.

At the start of the term, actually at the start of James and my friendship, I noticed the differences between James and his sister. He was loud, she never spoke a word. James was one of the sportiest people you'd ever meet and Charlie was the complete opposite. But now after I'd spent time with them I began to see their similarities. The way they both smiled, the way the dimples in their cheeks came out when they grinned. The way their humour was the same; the same sarcastic tone that they had. To me their family had always been segregated. There was the parents and James and then there was Charlie. I saw no likeness between the two groups. But it was all coming together now.

And now that I was aware of everything that had been going on in the Potter family, I found that Jo had some Potter like qualities as well; the way he spoke and made everyone his friend. I knew that that's what he was trying to do when we'd first met. But me, being me at the time, gave him the cold shoulder. That was yet another promise that I'd made to myself, no more being a complete idiot towards him. I consider my self a part of the Potter family, and the Potter family consider Jo their brother and son. We had all been taken in by the same people, now we had to live with that fact.  
Over the last week or so Remus had been playing the role of my personal head doctor. He's been listening to my every thought and putting up with my complaints and non-stop ramblings. He certainly had made up for everything that he'd done. He was who I was with now.

We were sitting down by the lake. James had a heads meeting with Dumbledore and Peter had a make-up lesson for potions. So it was just me and Remus foolishly sitting on a snowy ground next to a frozen lake. I'd been talking for god knows how long and he'd been patiently nodding away. But as always, he ended the conversation with the same question.

"So, when are you going to tell?"

Sometimes that question referred to everyone, other times it meant James or Charlie. I knew though, that I would have to tell someone. The only question now is when I was going to tell them. I knew that I didn't want everyone knowing. But I knew now, that it wasn't an option not to tell, I thought that it was, but that was before I knew…

*

I woke up on Monday when there was exactly a week before school finished. I woke up with my mind set. It happened tonight. That's when I was going to tell James and I didn't feel so worried. I had Remus behind me now. And I had to tell him soon or I would go crazy. I was already loosing it.

That night I sat on my four poster. I didn't even notice when I started reading a text book. I was sick with anxiety at what I was about to do. I kept listening out for footsteps outside the door. I jumped every time I heard something. Even if it was the roof creaking. So you can imagine my reaction when the door opened. If you're wondering, as soon as Remus opened the door I found myself sitting on the floor.

"Are you kidding!" I said in disbelief when I saw him. "I hurt my arse for you?!" I cried as I got back onto my bed.

He raised his eyebrows as started loosening his tie. "What's going on?" By the tone of his voice it sounded as if Remus didn't really want an answer. Too bad.

"I've decided, I'm going to tell him. I'm going to tell James everything!" I told him putting down my book.

"Good for you Padfoot." He smiled at me from across the room. "Well you won't have to wait long. He's coming up soon."

"What?!" _No! NO! Not yet! I'm not ready!! _"No! Not ye-" I stopped talking as soon as the door opened.

James walked over to his bed and took off his cloak. When he noticed that no one was talking he looked up at us both.

_Well, here goes nothing. _"Hey James? You know how I've been acting a bit… odd lately?" I asked awkwardly.

James snorted. "Yeah! Who hasn't? I mean seriously Sirius. You need to stop all of these mood swings. You're starting to worry some people." He returned to undoing his tie. I looked at Remus for help. And good ol' Moony came through for me once again.

"Well he has a good reason James," he said. After James made a response, Remus continued. "He's… found someone."

James stopped and looked at me. "Good on you Pads. Our little boy's growing up." He turned back around. "So, who is she?"

"Remus looked at me once more. I was on my own now. This was the only chance I would have to tell him… maybe to tell anyone. "Well, she's a year younger than us," I started.

"Oh, turning into a cradle snatcher are we now Pads." I could hear the smirk on his face. This was not going to be easy.

"And she's quiet… And I'm really good friends with her brother."

I could see the clockwork in James' head speeding up. As I continued to speak, he became slower in what he was doing.

"And, I've kind of been living with her for the past two years."

That did it. He stopped and slowly turned around. His expression was not what I was expecting. His face showed nothing but shock and horror. And when he spoke his voice sounded as strained as if he had been crying. "No. No, Sirius. Not Charlie."

"Why not her?" I felt as if I'd been punched. I had not been expecting this. It was time for an explanation.

"Because!"

"That's not good enough James!" I yelled getting up to face him. "C'mon James! Tell me!"

"Because she's dying Sirius!! They say that she won't make next term!"

I didn't even hear the door slam as he ran out. My brain had shut down as someone grabbed me and pulled me out of the dorm. I only came back to Earth when Remus made me stop on the way down to the Common Room. One voice made me wake up, and I wish it hadn't.

"Go Lily." Lily took Charlie's advice after James had ran out of the room, and went after him. This seemed like Remus' que to continue to drag me a long down to the room. We were nearly at the door when –

"Remus, Sirius, don't," Charlie said softly.

"What? What d'you mean 'don't'?" I'd never seen Remus so angry and I felt the need to punch him for yelling at her.

"Because you're not what he needs right now," Charlie said getting up. My heart seemed to follow her as she left the room and I wanted to go and get it back. I was so confused. Everything was going way to fast. My head hurt as Remus came up behind me.

"Go Sirius."

I knew what he meant and I hadn't even processed what he'd said as I ran from the room. I looked down the two corridors outside the portrait hole and my brain stuttered when I saw her figure walking down the left-hand corridor.

"Charlie! Charlie, please wait! Just please…" I said as I caught up to her. I held onto her arm and came to face her. "Please," I started, the words caught in my throat. "Please tell me ha made a mistake. Just – He heard them wrong." I knew that she knew what I was talking about. I had to hear it from her. And unfortunately for me I did.

"I'm so sorry Sirius," she sighed, looking up at me for the first time.

I let go of her shoulder and stepped away from her. This couldn't be happening. It was all just a bad dream. I'd wake up any moment. Although the sickening feeling in my stomach convinced me. This was no dream. "Why –Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, coming closer to her.

"Sirius you will always be, first and foremost, my brother's best friend. It was his decision when and why to tell you, not mine," she stood there saying this in no more than a whisper. It was now or never.

"Charlie, surely you know, surely. Being my best friends sister isn't enough for me anymore."

Charlie closed her eyes. "I can't Sirius. You've seen how much pain I've put people through already." She opened her eyes and looked up at me. My heart started pounding against my chest, but I only had ears for her as she spoke again. "I might not be able to stop you grieving for me. But I do have the power to determine how deep that grieving goes."

I couldn't believe what she was saying. How could she think like this? I looked into those deep green eyes. "I will grieve for the girl I love, and I will never rest until I know what her feelings are towards me."

At this she looked up, her eyes searched my face, looking for some flaw, some sort of lie. I think she wanted all of this to be some big joke, but it wasn't. This is the most serious I'd ever been in my life.

"Please tell me my love isn't unrequited," I said lowering my voice as I placed a hand under her chin so that I could see her eyes.

She shook her head. "You know I can't do that."

"Then show me." And before I knew what I was doing, I lent in and kissed her. It took me only a fraction of a second to realize that she was kissing me back. But then she pulled away, realizing what she was doing.

She looked from the floor and then up at me, and for the first time ever, I saw a glassy look come and cover Charlie's eyes. Charlie Potter was close to tears, and it was my fault. Before I could do anything, she ran off down the corridor. I didn't go after her, she needed time… and so did I.

_**Sooo…. Please leave a review. : )**_


	13. The Beginning Of The End?

_**Hey everyone, not much to say about this chapter except… ENJOY!!**_

13: The Beginning Of The End

_And with a girl as sweet as you_

_There's not much else I can do_

_But fall for you_

_**Hummingbird by Never Shout Never**_

I stood there in the middle of the corridor, leaning up against the wall for support so my legs couldn't fall out from beneath me. How could this be happening? Everything was fine. She was fine… No she wasn't she had never been. I'd just been to blind to see it… to see all of it.

As I stood there, everything in my mind fell into place. I began to realize things that I'd let go of before.

At the Potter's at the end of last term, when Charlie sat down at the table. She wasn't taking it in for the first time, she was taking it in for the last. And Lily, she knew, or else she wouldn't be acting so nice to James. And James! No wonder he'd been acting so strangely the last couple of months… Who wouldn't be?

_How can this happening? _Were there some sort of warning signs that I should have been looking out for? Something that I missed? My breathing started to come unevenly as I slid down the wall.

My mind started to wander after her. I knew where she'd gone. What the hell was she thinking? Feeling? For the first time in my life, I wish that I could hear the music. Just to get some idea as to what she was feeling… to what she was going though… to what I was putting her through. At this thought a new wave of guilt and anger pounded through me. Why did I always have to do things without thinking first? Why did I do it? She'd said NO! Why don't I ever listen to people?!

"James!"

I looked up. James was coming at me in full swing with Lily behind him. I got up and faced him with my hands out in front of me. I didn't want this to happen. My stomach fell when I noticed that James' eyes were red… the thought of him crying hit me harder the I thought it would. But that was the only thing I had time to notice before I was pushed off balance.

"James, wait-"

"What the hell did you do Sirius?!" he yelled pushing me again. This time I hit the wall behind me, pain shooting up my back.

"What – What's she-?" I stammered as the thought of Charlie standing in the middle of broken glass found it's way into my head.

"Don't you dare!" James screamed as he aimed a punch for my head. I dodged it just in time. "How dare you do this to her!" He came at my again. I could see Lily in the background,crying out to James to stop. I ducked behind him and stood up. I didn't know how long it would take for him to calm down. I'd never, in my life, seen James this angry and I knew that I'd crossed the line, but at what cost?

He took another swing at me, but this time I was ready for it. I grabbed his fist and twisted it. He went down quickly and even after I let go he stayed on the ground, tears streaming down his face.

I knelt down and looked at him, he shouldn't have to go through this. I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a hug, trying to keep the tears from making their way into the open air. I let James sob into my shoulder and motioned to Lily to stay back and that I had this under control.

"She – She won't let me in Sirius." Came James' strained and unsteady voice from my shoulder. "She – She's got the – the door locked… She won't let me in!" He sobbed harder than eve and I felt a tear rolling down my face, but I didn't care at all. There were only two things on my mind; The boy who I'd known for the last seven years, currently crying into my shoulder… and the girl who had managed to unlock my heart and steal the keys. My throat became tight and I suddenly felt claustrophobic.

_See what you've done! PRAT!_

The next half an hour passed as if I were in a daze, a dream. Lily and I managed to get James back to the Common Room where I took him up to the dorm. It hurt like hell to see him like this. I joined Remus down in the Common Room. We sat there for the longest time. He was talking to me about something but everything inside me had simultaneously shut down. The only thing that I could feel was my heart still pounding against my chest as I stared into the fire.

I don't know how long I sat there, but by the time I finally looked up from the flames I was the only one left in the room. I dragged myself off the chair and made my way slowly upstairs and fell onto my bed, dreading what was bound to come tomorrow.

*

No one spoke that morning. Peter had been informed discretely of what was going on by Remus the night before, and had joined everyone in the silence. James refused to look at me all morning and I couldn't blame him for thinking that this was all my fault. Remus told me to give him some space.

"Look, he's going through a rough patch," he pointed out to me in our dorm. James had already gone down to breakfast.

"You think I don't know that!?" I said pacing back and forth between beds. "D'you know if she's –"

"Last time I heard she was with Tonks. So yes, she's not in the room anymore." He stopped and looked at me. "What're you going to do?"

"I don't know." I sat down. I could either tell Charlie what I was feeling which would probably make her run off again, which would make James want to hit me again. Or I could just forget the whole thing, which seemed hardly possible.

Eventually the day went on. James and Lily were now officially a 'couple' although no one appeared to know the reason behind it. Well, almost no one.

_So, something good has finally happened. _

The sight of them together made me feel so jealous that it made me sick. How could I be feeling this? James needed someone and at the moment Lily was the only one who he seemed to be comfortable around. Of course he wouldn't be comfortable around me, I don't even feel comfortable around me! Look at what I'd done!

During the day people had quickly taken to noticing that the Marauders were missing one of it's key members. Whispers had spread as to what had happened, because a fight amongst the boys had certainly never been heard of before. However none of the rumors came close to the truth which I was extremely thankful for. A secret as big as this in a school like Hogwarts would get torn apart.

No, I had to speak to her! It was my only chance to make all of this right again. But I still couldn't help feeling that I'd find a way to mess everything up. Because it seemed that whenever I tried making something right these days I just ended up doing the complete opposite.

It was that night in the Common Room where my mind made it's decision. James had gone to bed before any of us even thought of going up to our dorm. Remus had followed him, trying to talk about, well, everything. I don't think it went all that well when he came back to the Common Room ten minutes after he had followed James. Remus jumped slightly as I suddenly stood up. It was only eight o'clock which meant I had plenty of time before curfew. I headed towards the portrait hole.

"Where're you going?"

"Don't wait up for me ok," I told him as I went out of the room. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be in the mood for talking when I got back.

I knew where I was headed, and for once, I knew what I was going to say. Last night I didn't think and it was one of the most stupidest things I've ever done. But not this time!

It seemed that I'd been walking for ever until I got there. I stood outside for even longer. When my breathing had regained it's even, steady pace I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Charlie? C'mon I know you're in there." When I couldn't hear anything I continued. "Charlie please, I just wanted to say that I'm so-" I jumped when the door swung open.

Charlie stood before me, looking expectantly for the words to continue. But at the sight of her everything in my head disappeared, vanished and had left nothing. I could tell that Charlie hadn't been playing for very long, there were slight traces of emotion etched on her face.

Without thinking I stepped into the room and faced the piano until I heard the door close.

"Look, I came hear to talk," I told her turning around to face her.

"Talk, is that all?" She walked over to the piano and sat down in front of it. She let her fingers run along the keys.

I could tell, even though I couldn't hear it or see it that Charlie was annoyed, hurt probably as well. And it angered me even more that I had been the one who had made her feel like this. I walked and knelt beside her so I could see her eyes.

"Look… if I knew that this was going on I would've done so many things differently. I am so sorry for what I've out you through,and if it was up to me these feelings would've never existed in the first place." Charlie looked up at me, her face softer than before. "But as it is, I _do _have these feelings, and I _have _tried to get rid of them. Now, though, I don't think I want to." I looked into her eyes, pleading. "I will always be here for you. And I'm going to walk out that door soon. You have the keys, please let me in." Without another glance I stood up and walked away.

*

I wasn't expecting much from anyone the next day. James had come back into the group, the apologizes had been made and everyone had come to terms with reality. Well almost everyone. My life still hung in the balance. It was all up to Charlie. Everything was up to her. I was starting to think that she'd gotten freaked out and had almost given up. But then two o'clock came.

I was walking back to the Common Room. Remus, Peter and James had decided to study in the dorm. And the one thing on my mind was – out of no where – calling my name. I turned to see Charlie coming towards me. I could see the sun become brighter as I saw her.

"Hi," I said after she'd caught up with me.

"Look, you probably don't know but I haven't played in a long time, just so I could tell you this."

My mouth fell open. She shouldn't have done that! She could get hurt. Obviously my concern showed because she held up her hand to stop me from saying anything.

"Before… Before you say anything, just hear me out, ok?" She walked around before coming back in front of me again. I could tell that this alone was hard for her, so I didn't do anything but stand there staring at her. "What you told me last night… it – it meant a lot to me," she took a few deep breaths. I went to mention for her to sit down, but she put up her hand and stopped me. " Please – let me do this." She stopped moving completely and looked at me dead in the eyes. "You're right, I do have the keys…" My heart started to speed up. "And although I _will _regret this later… I want to unlock the door." She took a step closer and I meant in and our lips collided.

It was like everything in my life meant so much more in those two seconds. It was like fireworks had erupted all around me and I just couldn't help thinking that nothing would ever be better than this. The fireworks immediately died down as she pulled away.

As I opened my eyes I was met with the most beautiful girl in the world. As I studied her the reason why she'd pulled away became very clear. Her breathing was heavy and she looked weak, but the closest thing to a smile I'd ever seen covered her face. The feeling that I got from looking at that smile was almost surreal. I was beyond happy.

Charlie's face fell as a loud cracking sound came from above us. I looked up at the window that had formed a crack in it. My eyes rested on Charlie, she had done this. And she _looked _guilty.

"I should be going," she said looking up at the glass for the first time.

"What about James?" A conversation I don't think I was ready to handle.

"I'll talk to him,don't worry," she told me, shaking her head. She pecked me on the cheek and walked off down the corridor.

I repaired the window before heading back to the Common Room. I felt like skipping the whole way there, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if I did at one stage. I walked through the portrait whole to see Remus on the lounge. I waltzed over to him and grabbed his shoulders.

"I. Kissed. Her!" I whispered in his ear before spinning away up to the empty dorm. I had just placed myself on my bed when the door slammed open.

"You WHAT?!"

I smirked at Remus' reaction, it was classic, really.

"What? Didn't think I could do it? Didn't think I could… woo her?" I asked playfully, thoroughly enjoying myself.

"No. No it's not that," he stumbled. "I just didn't think that she could… you know, that she could have relationships like that." He sat down on the edge of the closest bed.

And as I thought about it, it _was _hard to believe that she had done that, but when I told Remus that it didn't matter because after all this time we were finally together, he didn't seem too convinced.

"Sirius," he started, edging closer. "you have to accept what's inevitably going to happen."

I knew what he was talking about and I could feel my throat tighten slightly.

"And they don't even know when, I mean Charlie had good reasons not to start something like this." He looked at me with sincere eyes, but I pushed his words away.

"Yeah but today proves that she wants this just as much as I do!" I said standing up.

"I know that, but all I'm saying is that… this _is _going to happen, Sirius."

"I'm going for a walk." With that I left.

I needed to think about what I'd done…

*

I opened the door to the Common Room. I'd been walking for the better part of four hours. Most of that time was spent thinking, other times I just sat and watched the giant squid swim in the lake, skimming the icy surface. And in the end everything came down to one simple fact, I loved Charlie Potter and I promised that I would stand by her. And that is exactly what I was going to do. I didn't care if I got hurt, because the only thing concerning me now was her.

As I walked into our dorm I knew that something was missing.

"Where's Prongs?"

"Charlie asked to speak to him," Remus said from his bed. "You wouldn't happen to know what it's about would you?"

"Charlie said that she'd break the news to him."

"Why not you?"

"Well I reckon he'd be less tempted to punch his sister than me."

"Good point."

For the next half an hour I silently sat on my bed, me eyes fixed on the door and my stomach had settled in my feet. I knew James, he was by far my best friend and I knew how stubborn he was. But maybe speaking to his sister instead of hearing it from me was a good idea.I'd have to thank Charlie later.

I jumped onto my feet as the door opened. James didn't look at anyone as he asked to see me outside. As I left Remus and Peter both gave me reassuring smiles. I tried returning it, but I think it came out as more of a grimace than a smile.

We left the Common Room and walked down a corridor in complete silence. When he stopped I prepared myself for a lot of yelling, but instead James turned around and pulled me into a hug in one fluid motion.

Shock rippled through me. _This _was not what I was expecting.

"Thank you," he said pulling back. He read the confusion on my face and chuckled. "The healers didn't think that she could ever have something like this!" He said looking at me. "But she has,and with you! With my best friend!" He laughed again at the expression on my face. "Don't you get it Sirius, I'm thanking you. You know, at first I was angry, but I'm seeing things clearly now." He patted my back once more and it shook my face into a smile.

I would definitely have to thank Charlie later.

*

So two things had gone the complete opposite to what I thought was going to happen. James and I were now back to normal and Charlie Potter was the most amazing girl in the universe. She was spending a lot more time in the Outlet Room and the majority of Hogwarts were absolutely clueless to how this happened. But I didn't care what they said at all. I was getting to know Charlie and now through anyone else.

When I asked her what she'd told James, she just shook her head.

"I felt bad for having to make him shout out the truth like that." I told her whilst we were sitting near the lake.

"I wouldn't if I were you."

"What? Why?"

She took a breath before she started to explain. "The reality of my condition has been drilled into James and I like the knowledge that you werea wizard was drilled into you," she said looking out at the frozen lake. "We grew up knowing what was going to happen. But James… I think he'd always hoped that it was a joke, that it would turn out to be untrue. And even now, he's in denial. Having him admit to it like he did, it helped."

As she talked a clicking sound could be heard. I pulled my sleeve up to reveal my watch had been broken. When Charlie saw this she said goodbye and left.

I thought about what she'd said. It must've been tough on James and for their parents. At that thought I went up to my dorm, got a piece of parchment and come ink out of my trunk and started to write…

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Potter,_

_I write to you not as the boy who you've known for the last six years, but as a boy who is completely and utterly in love with your daughter. I don't know if you have been informed already, but I wanted to tell you myself. Charlie and I have been seeing each other for the last four days. I'm sorry it has taken me this long for me to realize my feelings for your amazing daughter. And for that I more than anyone am truly sorry._

_I know of Charlie's condition and what is inevitably going to happen because of it. I am truly sorry for the burden that you have been carrying all these years and I would like you to know that you do not bear the burden alone. _

_I am willing to stand by Charlie and by you both and James through this difficult time. I consider myself to be apart of your family and I hope that you feel the same way about me._

_I love your daughter. I am not going to leave her for anything. I just wanted you both to know that._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Sirius Black-Potter _


	14. Christmas Tragedy

14: Christmas Tragedy

_**I dedicate this chapter to the entire song 'Come on Get Higher' by Matt Nathanson**_

_If I could tell you what's next  
I'd make you believe  
I'd make you forget_

Sunday came as a relief to many. Students would return home today for Christmas break and fifth and seven years would have a two week break from studying. Well all but Lily that is. We were all convinced that she'd go home and study non-stop.

"I will not! I _do _have a life you know!" Lily said looking at all of us.

We were on our way back to London on the Hogwarts Express. Lily, Charlie and Tonks had joined us in our compartment.

"Oh sure Lily, we believe you just like we believe that James hasn't had one detention this term," I said looking around the compartment. We all broke into laughter at the looks on everyone's faces. All but one.

Charlie had spent the whole morning in the Outlet Room. Her face was blank as she looked out the window. Her hand was in mine as we waited to arrive at Platform 9 ¾. As I looked away from her I noticed James smiling at us with a cheeky glint in his eye.

"What?"

"Oh nothing, nothing," he said shaking his head.

I shrugged it off, I really couldn't be bothered trying to find out what the hell was up with him. And I'd probably find out sooner or later.

It was almost dusk when we finally arrived at the Platform. As we were making our way off the train, James stopped me.

"Yes James?"

"…Argh, never mind, I've forgotten what I was going to say." With that he shrugged and kept moving. I raised an eyebrow as I followed him.

I stepped onto the Platform with Charlie in front of me and James behind me. I began to search through the crowd. I spotted Mr and Mrs Potter, but they weren't alone. Someone was standing next to them. They had their back to us so I couldn't make out who it was. I saw Mr Potter point towards us, signaling for who ever it was to turn around. And as they did I heard James whisper "Yes!" and Charlie's breathing faulted for the tinniest second. Her face broke into a smile as she ran towards Jo Hastington.

I grinned as I made my way over to them. As I got closer I could hear Charlie's ramblings.

"You! You're here-! How-?" She said, hugging him.

"Happy belated birthday!" Was all he managed to get out before Charlie pulled him into another hug. He was still holding onto her as he shook James' hand and then mine. Surprisingly the jealousy I once felt towards him had disappeared. James walked over to his parents and all the words from the letter came flooding back to me as I walked over to them.

James stepped back as I got closer to them. Mr and Mrs Potter both stepped forward and just when I thought that I was going to get killed right there in the middle of the platform, Mr Potter held out his hand. Relief swarmed me as I took his hand.

"Welcome to the family son," he said, a grin breaking out onto his face. I sighed in relief and my cheeks were starting to hurt from the amount of smiling that I was doing. I didn't have long to breathe though as Mrs Potter pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

As we made our way out of Kings Cross I pulled James up as Charlie and Jo went ahead of us. Charlie was still ecstatic.

"You knew he was coming here didn't you?" I asked him.

"Well he might have mentioned it," he said, grinning like a fool.

I shook my head as he kept walking towards the exit, now I was the one who was grinning like a fool.

Never in my life had I seen her happier. Charlie was glowing at the sight of him. I think she deserved this after all she'd been through. I felt like I was glowing as well, I was a part of a family again, after all these years I had been accepted. I forgot how being in a family could me you feel.

As I got into the car next to James an eerie silence came over everyone, besides Charlie and Jo that is who were still laughing in the back. It was impossible to miss, however, the looks on the Potter's faces. Suddenly it was like their emotions were contagious. I felt like sitting there was the worst place in the world. This may very well be Charlie's last Christmas.

*

I sat on my bed listening to the rain slam against the window. Charlie and Jo had gone for a walk as soon as we got back from the station. After that I had decided to leave the Potters alone to talk. So here I was. I was completely amazed that I could forget how serious this was, and the sudden impact that I had as I hit reality back in the car had made me sick. This was it, I knew what was coming.

A knock at the door pulled me back down to earth. James tentatively opened the door and looked around the room. When he saw me he said "hey" and came to sit down. I felt the end of my bed sag as I tried not to look at him.

"Look this is hard for everyone," he said trying to make eye contact with me. "Especially Jo…" he paused and tried to look at me again. "Which is why Charlie isn't spending Christmas with us."

This got my attention. I looked up at him with wide eyes. Why? Didn't she deserve to be with her family? Didn't she deserve to be with me?

"Look, we see Charlie practically all year at school and even when she's… when she's not at school, we'll still see her." James stopped again to look at me. "But Jo won't, Sirius."

"Why?" I didn't see the truth behind his words. Jo had seen her since she was nine years-old!

James put his head in his hands and sighed, and I started to wonder how long I'd been up here by myself. I wondered how long James had been downstairs preparing for this. With the next words he uttered, a tidal wave of guilt hit me like a brick wall.

"Sirius… St. Mungo's only allows muggles with a blood-relation with the patient to enter." He paused and looked away from me for the first time. "Jo isn't going to see Charlie after Christmas." He said as he left my room. The door shut with a never ending echo that proceeded into the depths of my soul.

*

At first I knew nothing about him, then I hated him, next I was eternally grateful to him and now I would rather be anyone else in the world but him. I now understood fully, how important it was for Jo to come to the Platform. Not being able to see her again would be torture.

I knew what James was trying to tell me, however delicately. He was telling me to stop being pathetic and jealous of someone who's predicament was so far past mine that I couldn't even begin to imagine, nor did I want to.

After waking up to myself I removed myself from my miserable state, put on a smile and walked down stairs. As I reached the bottom step, Charlie and Jo came through the front door. When she saw me, Charlie ran up and hugged me, I held onto her with all my might and heart, I never wanted to let her go.

I watched Jo out of the corner of my eye, he wore the biggest smile that only just reached his eyes. My smile slowly started to fade as I let go of Charlie. She searched my face looking uncertain.

"They told you?"

_God dam it! Am I that obvious?_

"Yeah," I said looking at her. She nodded and then made her way into the kitchen where the Potters were waiting for her.

Jo made his way to follow her but stopped in front of me. We were the same height so he had no difficulty in maintaining eye-contact. He put his hand on my shoulder and offered a warm thank you as he walked off. That moment was the moment when I realised that I had more to thank Jo for than he did for me. He had let me into his family as well.

When I entered the kitchen I was blown away. The whole entirety of the Potters kitchen and dining room had been transformed into a decorators paradise. There were little santa's flying everywhere and the tree that took up the far corner of the room was sparkling with every move we made.

"Ahh Sirius," Mrs Potter said as she saw me. "Just in time for presents."

I smiled sadly as I went to stand by Charlie next to the tree. James and Jo had placed themselves on the floor in front of the Christmas tree and Mrs and Mr Potter were sitting up near the kitchen bench, looking down upon the scene.

Charlie reached out for hands for my hand as we sat down on the ground with James and Jo. James had the biggest smile I've ever seen plastered on his face and I hoped that 9it wasn't just all for show. Jo looked at everyone with an excited glint in his eye and a faint smile on his lips.

Obviously being in the presence of Jo had an effect on Charlie as she was smiling at everyone. There was a surprising amount of noise from such a small group. James was listening to Jo tell him the latest muggle jokes, Aaron and Emilia were trying to get them to stop talking so that Charlie could open her presents, knowing full well that Charlie was laughing just as much.

When everyone had settled down Charlie looked up at the rest of us.

"Who's first?"

"I am! ME!!" James almost fell over in excitement. He dived under the tree and returned with a box-shape gift.

Just to double check, I put my hand inside my pocket and felt around for Charlie's gift. It had been in my pocket ever since the train trip, I felt like I had to have it on me at all times to keep it safe. Once I had found it, it was easier for me to concentrate on what was going on in front of me.

Charlie looked at me eyes wide with excitement before she started to unwrap the gift from her brother. Under the wrappings was a small metal box with inscriptions and patterns which covered it. She looked at James and opened it.

We all gasped in amazement. The music coming from the box was almost as hypnotic as a phoenix song. But the music wasn't just heard, colours and patterns made their way out from the box and wrapped around the open air, mirroring the music.

"Merry Christmas Charlie," whispered James, looking at her earnestly. Charlie jumped forward and pulled her brother into a hug. I saw tears in his eyes as he returned her embrace, and held back my own.

After a few seconds Charlie and James broke apart and she came back to sit by my side. I instinctively took her hand and pressed it up against my lips as we turned our attention to Aaron and Emilia.

Aaron and Emilia looked around the room slowly. Their eyes eventually stopped on Charlie's face. Emilia fought back the tears as Aaron stepped forward. Charlie stood up and walked towards her father. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" He whispered to her. She looked up at him with soft eyes. "Of course you don't. Your mother and I want to give you something that will make you realise just how special you are to us."

I was confused beyond comprehension until Emilia stepped forward. It took me a moment to realise what she was holding. It was a small glass vile filled with a silvery-blue substance. I'd seen something like it before, but this act was unbelievable, As Emilia handed the memory to Charlie, she hugged her and said 'Merry Christmas.'

When they parted I saw tears streaming down all the Potter's faces. Jo looked thoroughly confused. I'd explain it to him later.

"We'd like to show you," Emilia said cupping Charlie's face. The three of them, two loving parents and their beloved daughter left the room. I was about to get up and foolishly call after Charlie, for she still hadn't received my present. Thankfully James placed a hand on my knee to keep me grounded.

"They'll be back Sirius. Mum and Dad have been planning this for a while."

I relaxed I was being selfish and I acknowledged that this was their time with Charlie now. For the next ten or so minutes James and I explained to Jo what was going on. How, at this very moment, Charlie was experiencing her parent's own memories about her. We then sat in silence.

I was the first to leave the dining room. I collapsed on my bed waiting to hear her voice. After a while I reached into my pocket and removed the small velvet box. It was rosy red and seemed to sparkle under the light. It had taken me forever to find this. I had stolen it from the Black family house right before I joined the Potter's. it was probably the only thing in that god forsaken place that didn't bear the Black family crest. It was pure, just like Charlie, and for that, I took it. It had been left in my trunk for two years until I discovered it in the last week of school. Of course I had to fix it up and in the process I had to take a mid-afternoon strole down to Hogsmeade ( I knew that it was against the rules, but this was an important occasion). I sat looking at it for the next half hour before I was shaken with a knock at my door.

I looked up and hid the box when I saw Charlie looking at me. My heart ached as I saw the redness of her eyes and cheeks. She had been gone for almost two hours. I suspected that she'd already spoken to James for I hadn't seen him either. I got up and took her in my arms. I felt so useless. She pulled away after a while and looked up at me.

"Take a walk with me?"

"Yeah," I breathed as I let her lead the way out of the room.

I let the cold air hit me as Charlie and I started to walk down to the gardens at the end of the street. I knew that she was tired. She hadn't played since this morning and since then she's been through an emotional roller-coaster. I didn't speak, I just walked with her hand in mine.

We entered the garden and I immediately regretted not coming here more often. Even though it was snowing, most of the flowers were still in bloom. The colours were so bright and I got lost in them. I was looking at the frozen pond, thinking of Hogwarts, when I felt Charlie stop beside me. I turned to look at her, clutching the box in my pocket. Charlie's face now had a tinge of pink due to the cold. Her eyes searched mine as she smiled.

Her smile, as always, was infectious and I found myself smiling back at her.

She slipped her hand into her coat pocket and removed a slim, wrapped up rectangular package. She held it with both hands and looked from it back up to me. And without saying anything she handed it to me. I felt that she wanted to say something so I didn't continue unwrapping it but waited. When she noticed this she sighed.

"I – I don't want you to forget," she whispered.

I unwrapped it and stared at the picture staring back at me. I remembered her this day. It was after Tonks had her birthday, Charlie had bought her a camera and this is where the photo had come from.

Tears formed in my eyes and I swallowed before I spoke to her.

"You'd think I'd forget you? Don't you know?" I didn't give her time to answer. I removed the velvet case from my pocket and opened it. The silver ring that lay inside glistened in the air. The two silver bands snaked and intertwined together. She gasped slightly as I took it out. I let her read the inscription before I placed it on her finger. The ring read "Today-Tomorrow-Forever… Con tutto l'mio amore" A tear trickled down her face as I pulled her into me. I bent down to whisper in her ear. "I am yours, always"

I wiped the tear from my face and closed my eyes.

*

Dinner that night was spectacularly unforgettable. With Jo at the dinner table Charlie was able to express herself more freely and she never let go of my hand. There was laughter all throughout dinner and you could still hear the laughter bouncing off the walls off the Potter house hours later.

The next morning I woke up remembering what had happened the night before. A small smile found a way to cover my face. I rolled over to find a folded piece of parchment on the table next to my bed. My heart lept when I recognized Charlie's handwriting as I reached to get it.

_Sirius, _

_I didn't want to wake you so I didn't have time to tell you. I'm probably at Jo's family home by now. I ask you not to worry even though I know that it's your favourite past-time._

I smirked when I read this, she knew me too well.

_I'll be back the day before we head off to Hogwarts. Till then I hope you have a good time, don't kill my brother, I know how annoying he can get. Say hello to Lily for me, and don't go to crazy._

_I'll miss you,_

_Charlie._

I sighed as I fell back onto my bed. Why was this so hard. _Because you love her. _Loving Charlie was worth all of this. She made me feel alive. She had a way of knowing who I was and what I was thinking merely by looking into my eyes. I would always lover Charlie, no matter what.

I was hers… always.


	15. And So It Goes

15: And So It Goes

_You're always in my heart  
There's no letting go, you gotta know  
You're unforgettable_

'_**Unforgettable' by Dean Geyer**_

There was only one way to describe the two weeks that had just passed… lonely. For the first time in years I felt lost. I always felt as if I needed to hold something, but the one thing I wanted to hold wasn't there.

I envied Jo for having her all to himself. Though the voice in the back of my head always managed to gain my attention. You could have had her a long time ago! You were just to stupid to realise it! This is your fault, don't blame Jo! This thought process continued until Charlie came home the day before we were to head off to Hogwarts.

She spent three hours in the Potter's Outlet Room after she'd returned.

Everything was back to normal as we made our way back to Hogwarts. No one had asked Charlie ifshe had a good time. We didn't know how she'd react and I didn't want to imply something that I didn't mean.

Funnily enough Charlie's absence seemed to inspire many, myself included, to make her happier. Needless to say, the train ride back to Hogwarts was far from dull. James, Peter and Remus played several games of exploding snap whilst the girls talked about their Christmas'. Charlie and I sat in the corner and although her face was blank, I could feel how sad Charlie really was as the scene in front of her was being played out. The feeling was suffocating and I made an excuse to leave, Charlie's big brother was there and besides I had a feeling that I was probably only adding to her pain.

There were a number of empty compartments as I made my way through the train. A lot of people made their way to Hogwarts through the floo network after Christmas. I sat down in an empty compartment and felt myself lose control. I couldn't fight the pain any more, it was too much to just sit next to her and act as if nothing was wrong. Frustration swelled inside of me and I leaped up and threw my fist against the wall. Everything was so bloody unfair.

"Sirius?"

I looked up to see Catrina Sulepy standing in the doorway. I hadn't talked to Catrina in years, nor did I want to start any time soon. I mentally swore at myself for not pulling the blind down before I started to create a scene for the world to see.

I sat down, still breathing heavily as a result of my brief loss of control. I looked away as Catrina sat next to me.

"Why are you doing this, Sirius?"

I turned to Catrina and narrowed my eyes. I didn't trust her in the slightest.

"I mean, if Potter makes you feel like this, then why put up with her?" Catrina said moving her hand closer to mine.

I knew what she was getting to and I didn't know exactly how to handle it. If I were in this same position this time a year ago, I would've smirked, talked myself up a bit and then left. But with time, and Charlie, I had changed.

Catrina thought that I was angry with Charlie. No one but a select few knew what was really going on and the way Catrina had spat out Charlie's name made me fill up with painful anger. What right did she have for giving out advice? Especially to me, someone who she hadn't talked to since fifth year.

"Catrina, don't start," I said trying to move away from her as quickly as possible as I stood up and stood by the window,looking out at the flying scenery.

"Why not? It's obvious you're not happy with her," she said stepping closer to me. "But I could make you happy." She reached for my face. I quickly grabbed hold of her wrist and gently put it back by her side. Confusion reached into her face as she met my eyes. "Why are you fighting for her?"

"Because believe it or not Catrina, Charlie makes me happier than you could ever do," I said pointing in the direction or my compartment. "And I love her, I would do anything for her, the sooner everyone realizes that the sooner everyone can stop trying to pretend that they have a genuine interest in me, and make asses out of themselves in the process." With that I left, slamming the door shut behind me.

I allowed myself a cooling off period before I returned to my compartment. I had always known that there were a lot of people at Hogwarts who thought a long the same lines as Catrina Sulepy. It was just a shock to have them confirmed, I'd never really looked at others expressions when I was with Charlie. Finally all the years of talking myself up had caught up to me.

I felt sick to the stomach as lessons resumed on Monday. Part of this was due to the daunting NEWT exams, that decided the better part of our future,were just around the corner. At the start of our sixth year the NEWT exams were at the furthest point in my mind, now though it was all I could think about when I entered a classroom.

Outside the classroom, however, something else seemed to linger over my head. It was always just out of reach so I didn't have the faintest clue as to why I was suddenly feeling so anxious and on edge. I tried not to let this show but I felt as if I was doing a pretty awful job at it. Though no one asked this time, this is one of the reasons I tried that little bit harder to shake it off. It was nothing, just last minute jitters at finishing school.

One thing I was putting effort into noticing was how people reacted when Charlie and I entered the Great Hall after a whole holiday together. The result was almost what I had expected. The female population were throwing Charlie glares that could kill where the males of the school were a bit more reserved at throwing me their death-stares, but I noticed all the same. I thought that after noticing this, I would be angry, or at least a little bit hurt that people could turn so easily against each other, but I felt proud that I had the most sought after girl in the school next to me, with her hand in mine. The smile that came from that remained with me for the next hour.

History of Magic had always been a breeze, what with a dead professor who had the world's best mono-tone drone, it was a class where you had an opportunity to catch up on the sleep you missed out on over the weekend. That's exactly how it was even after two weeks back at school. James and I were playing hangman in the back of my textbook as Professor Binns hummed on about Goblins or something along those lines. Lily was the only one who was writing actual words.

Just when I thought that things couldn't really be happening at all there was a knock at the door. James and I sighed in relief when Binns stopped talking and looked up after speaking non-stop for the last half-hour. We turned to see Professor McGonagall standing in the doorway, flustered to say the least.

"I'm sorry for the interruption Professor," she said quickly. "May I take Misters Potter and Black please?"

James looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders, I couldn't remember the last prank we pulled, so we couldn't be in that much trouble. We packed our bags quickly, patted Moony on the shoulder and left the room behind McGonagall. She was walking much too fast and I knew that the worry that had started up in me and started within James as well.

"Professor, what –" James started, but was cut off by McGonagall as we turned into her office.

"Have a seat boys," she said gesturing towards the chairs in front of her desk as she sat behind it. James and I sat down but didn't get too comfortable as our Head of House looked extremely rushed.

"I'm so sorry James."

With that my heart broke just as my head began to shrink and my stomach turned to stone and ice. I could hear voices in the background a few moments later, apparently James had recovered quicker than me. I didn't , however see the tears that were silently falling down his cheeks.

"When?"

"About ten minutes ago. She's in the Hospital Wing and your mother and father should be here soon, the headmaster is summoning them now."

"Can I see her?" James' question processed through my mind and my brain began to trudge back into working order.

"Of course." With that we all stood up, myself practically numb followed McGonagall and James out of the room.

I couldn't bring myself to think about what was going on. My day had just turned from absolutely out of control. It had finally happened. We walked towards the third floor to the Hospital Wing. I couldn't see anything, everything was blurry until we arrived.

McGonagall looked between the two of us before opening the door.

James slowly entered first until her saw her. He rushed over to hold her hand whilst I stood there,my heart crumbling to the floor.

"Sirius!"

I only just registered the black-haired girl dashing over from the bed and falling into me. It took me a little while to realize that it was Nymphadora Tonks who I was holding, her tears soaking through to my skin.

But all I could think about was the pale form lying in the bed before me. If it wasn't for the faint rising of the chest, I would've assumed the worst as I looked at Charlie. Her face had lost most of it's colour but she looked incredibly peaceful, her face showing no emotion. The sobbing brother next to the bed, clutching her hand made the seriousness of the situation come to light.

We stayed there for the rest of the afternoon. Tonks had gone back to the Common Room after staying for another hour or so. James and I stayed by Charlie's side until Mr and Mrs Potter arrived from the Ministry of Magic. They rushed towards Charlie's side with Dumbledore following at a respectful distance.

I stepped back from Charlie's side as her parents sat down and took over James' job of holding on tightly to their daughters hand. I glanced over towards Dumbledore, he gave me a knowing look and went away from Charlie's bed side.

As I watched the family in front of me Dumbledore appeared by my side and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I thought that you would want to be here," he spoke softly. I looked at him. "After all, I am not completely oblivious to my students." Dumbledore looked slightly amused as he walked away.

I went over to James who was sitting on the edge of the next bed and put my hand on his shoulder which he gripped tightly.

"Headmaster."

We looked up to see Madam Pomfrey standing at the entrance to her office. Dumbledore looked towards the Potters. Mrs Potter wiped away her tears before getting up and followed Dumbledore towards Madam Pomfrey's office. The others followed.

Unsure of what to do, I stayed by Charlie until I heard Dumbledore call my name. I looked at Charlie one more time before entering the office.

"Proceed Poppy," Dumbledore said as I entered the room.

"Right, well, I've made arrangements for Miss Potter to be moved to Saint Mungo's early tomorrow morning. Till then all I can offer is a comfortable bed I'm afraid," Madam Pomfrey said gravely.

"Aaron, Emillia," Dumbledore said after thanking Madam Pomfrey. "I'm sure you can understand, Hogwarts has no extra beds to accommodate you this evening as the Hospital Wing's beds need to be reserved in case of emergency. You may stay here for as long as you wish before returning back to your home this evening, however."

The Potter's thanked him for his generosity and looked back at their daughter.

I was still numb and moving my head, or any part of me, was not an option. The colour had not returned to my face since it happened.

Madam Pomfrey excused herself from the room as Dumbledore moved onto another topic.

"I have talked to my colleagues and we have all agreed that it would be appropriate to excuse James from the NEWT examinations," he said with a soft smile.

I looked up from staring at the wall.

"I'm sorry Sirius, but for you to be excused from these examinations we need parental permission," Dumbledore told me.

"We're his guardians Albus," Mrs Potter said, lacing a firm hand on my shoulder. I smiled at the gesture.

Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling as he did so. "Very well then," he said. "I will leave you now, I have some people to contact before the night is over."

The Potters said their thanks and made their way over to Charlie. This was going to be a long night.

I woke up in my dorm the next morning, only just remembering how I got there.

James and I stayed with Charlie until Madam Pomfrey told us that visiting hours were over at two o'clock in the morning.

When we got back to the Common Room, Tonks and Lily were sitting on the lounge in front of the fire. They both had red faces and anyone could tell that they had been crying, though we didn't know how long they'd been there. I didn't really want to know either. I couldn't bring myself to think about anything. I struggled through telling them what was going on before going up to my dorm. After that all I can remember was trying to hold back the tears as I fell asleep.

I didn't know how many people knew about Charlie as I made my way down to breakfast. James was by my side holding onto Lily as we walked into the Great Hall. Half of the Gryffindor table looked at us arrive and stopped talking. I pointed towards the black haired girl at the end of the table and we went to sit by Tonks.

I looked at the food in front of me. My stomach churned, I couldn't eat when they were getting ready to move her even further away from me.

I looked at Tonks, her hair was limp and she was silently crying as she pushed her food away from her. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head as she lent into my chest. She tried to wipe away the tears and my throat tightened as people's laughter reached my ears.

I had just looked up at James as the Great Hall grew quiet. I looked towards the front of the hall to see Dumbledore getting ready to speak. I swallowed the lump in my throat when he began to talk.

"Students, if you would." He waited until the Hall grew into an eary silence. "Some of you may already know of the circumstances surrounding one of Hogwarts' students and I think it is time for the rest of us to become aware of these happenings." He paused as confused whispers started. When it died down, Dumbledore continued. "Late yesterday afternoon one of your fellow schoolmates collapsed. She has been fighting a particularly difficult disorder for the entirety of her lifetime. She can fight no longer."

I felt Tonks start a fresh set of sobs and I held her tighter as I looked down from the man.

"In a time of war it is important to acknowledge those innocent people who deserve the best life and all the joy that comes from it and we need to help them experience it. Therefore Charlie Potter will be moved to St. Mungo's Hospital this morning. I ask if you could keep her in your thoughts. Thank you."

The Great Hall stayed still. Even the Slytherins looked mildly shocked and every head turned and found James. He had his eyes closed and had lent against Lily for support. As quick as fireworks the hall erupted into talk.

I caught bits of conversations, people couldn't believe what was going on, others claimed that they had seen Charlie collapse. After the bell went the Hall began to empty. The four of us did not move as people who passed us said that they were sorry and that everything would be alright and wished us and charlie good luck. My heart lifted a little as they did this, people cared.

I hadn't even realised that McGonagall and Dumbledore had stayed behind and had begun to make their way over to us. McGonagall was the first to speak.

"We have decided to relieve you of the rest of the schooling year. This is a time for family and friendship,not examinations." She looked at us morbidly.

We didn't move, then, James stood up from the table, turned around and pulled the Professor into a genuine hug. McGonagall looked a bit shocked at first but then returned the gesture. After a minute or two they broke apart. Dumbledore spoke next still smiling at the sight he had just witnessed.

"James, your parents are waiting upstairs. The rest of you may accompany the Potter's to the Hospital, though I would like to ask you, Miss Evans, to remain behind to console your classmates. I feel they will be in need of their Head Girl today."

Lily nodded, kissed James and quickly left, whipping her tears away as she left.

Dumbledore then turned back to us. "It is time, I think, for us to make our way up to the Hospital Wing."

St. Mungo's was exactly how I pictured it to be. The waiting room was filled with people who were suffering all kinds of injuries. Under normal circumstances I would be feeling sorry for everyone who had found there way into a hospital, but right now my goal was to see her again, I didn't have time to think of anything else. The Potter's, Tonks and I walked up to the information desk. Mr Potter stated his request and they directed us to the closed ward on the 4th floor.

We trailed behind Mr and Mrs Potter. I could tell that they had been here before. They were walking without hesitation and speed towards the ward. Charlie was at the furthest end of the ward and the walk there felt like it went for an eternity. I hadn't been able to breathe properly since this all began and my throat was close to closing up all together. When we arrived there the air in my lungs was knocked out of me.

She had her own room unlike some patients who had to share a room. She looked so peaceful just lying there. The Healer who was by Charlie's bed side noticed that we were there and walked away from Charlie to greet Mr and Mrs Potter. She then looked and Tonks and I.

"Is one of you the young girl's Ginatris?"

When we both shook our heads the Healer looked confused. Mrs Potter stepped forward.

"Charlie's Ginatris is a… a muggle."

The Healers face fell at this comment. "Oh, I'm sorry." There was a slight pause before she spoke again. " Well, if you'd follow me, I'll show you to Healer Guzeki's office."

I looked at James, still confused at the Healers comment about Jo. He shook his head and continued to walk behind his parents. I could live without his explanation for now. I remembered what James had said about Jo at Christmas, my heart jerked once again. I remembered Dumbledore saying something about going to spread the unfortunate news to one more. I held onto Tonks as we entered the Healers office.

I remembered Charlie talking about her Healer who was the person who had discovered Charlie's condition and had told the Potters years ago. Charlie had grown up with Healer Guzeki. This woman knew Charlie's condition better than anyone and it was for that reason that she was head of the department.

As we walked into the Healer's office I immediately saw her in her purple robes sitting behind an organized desk. Apparently everything was stored in the large filling cabinets at the back of the room. There were only two chairs in the room.

"Come in please take a seat."

Three extra seats appeared and James, Tonks and I sat down.

"How is she?" Mrs Potter asked leaning forward in her chair.

"Well, I'm sorry to say that it's not looking good. Although she has exceeded many expectations, you have to understand that people who bear this condition usually don't make it to fifteen." The Healer said this in the most caring way though it didn't stop the anger from searing my throat. "I'm afraid it's hospital protocol to revise the symptoms that Charlie will be experiencing for the next period of time."

I tried to swallow as my mouth turned as dry as parchment. I didn't want anyone talking about Charlie like that. I knew what this woman was trying to say and I'd expected a more positive attitude from her of all people.

"Now as I've explained in the past, a person with this particular condition experiences increasing instability internally in their later years. The emotional stress experienced and the physical ramifications that tie in with that unhinges the body, and damages the body can withstand are limited. Hence the shortness of life." She paused here and handed Mrs Potter some tissues. I was pleased to see that Healer Guzeki looked thoroughly distressed talking about this. Mrs Potter whipped the tears away and Healer Guzeki continued. "Now I am aware that Charlie's Ginatris is a muggle and I truly am very sorry and unfortunately I don't have to power to change hospital rules and regulations. Although I do see some unfamiliar faces with us today…?"

I looked up from the floor as Mr Potter cleared his throat and began to speak.

"This is Nymphadora Tonks, one of Charlie's closest friends." Tonks gave a weak smile. Now it's my turn. "And this is Sirius Black, Charlie's…"

"Boyfriend," I spoke up for the first time and felt the lump return to my throat.

Healer Guzeki's eyes widened as I said this. She seemed, surprised. "Really? This is rare indeed that a person with this condition can engage in any form of romantic encounters." She turned to Mr and Mrs Potter. "This may help slightly in keeping Charlie stable."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The words had come out before I even had time to hear it.

The woman sighed and lent back in her chair. "As Charlie comes to the… end of her life the walls, if you will, that have been placed up because of the condition will break-down. Charlie will be able to exhibit her emotions more freely than she ever has before. For most with this condition, it can be extremely overwhelming. Normally a Ginatris' main role in the condition-holders life would to be helping them through this stage, though as I said before, rules are rules."

"Wait, so you're telling me that from now on my girlfriend is going to be going through intense mood swings and there's nothing you can do to help her?" I was angry to say the least. I couldn't believe that with all the medical knowledge that the Wizarding World contained, that there wasn't some kind of potion to help her. I didn't want to see her go through any more pain.

"In crude terms, yes Mr. Black. I'm sorry this must be difficult for all of you, and trust me when I say that you are not the only ones feeling helplessness. I wish that there was something I could do, but with only a maximum of four people to have this condition at the one time throughout the world, I'm afraid that our knowledge is limited." Healer Guzeki held her gaze on all of us. I could see the tears forming in her eyes but I found it hard to care.

This wasn't over… my angel had to go through hell to get to heaven.


	16. My Guardian Angel

_**Hi guys. Sorry it's taken so long for me to put this up. I've been writing most of this at school and well, it's been pretty busy at school :( But here it is. After this chapter there's only about two more chapters to go. I hope you like this one. Please review it :) SLL

* * *

**_

16: My Guardian Angel

_I could tell you  
If only we had  
Just a minute longer_

'_**Longer' by Delta Goodrem**_

James and I spent that night at the Potter's home whilst Mr and Mrs Potter stayed at the hospital and Tonk's went home. I didn't manage to get any sleep as my lids refused to shut. I doubt that James got any sleep either as I didn't hear him snore. I only realised that time had continued to move when the sky outside grew gray and wet, perfectly matching my mood.

"You up?"

James' voice sounded forced and strained. It took all of my strength and energy to open my mouth and reply with an unexpectedly soft 'yep.' After that, I couldn't be bothered doing anything. No, I just couldn't do anything. I lied there, staring at the ceiling. I heard a sniff in the background and recalled a silhouette passing through the door. Then I was drowned in silence. I couldn't think and I could hardly breathe. How could this be happening? It was as if someone had set my heart alight, though I wish that it had been set to stone. Feeling this was too much to handle. I don't know how James was doing this. Oh my God! James!

My energy came back to me and I rolled onto my feet and made my way down the stairs into the dining room. He was sitting at the dining table silently shaking with his head on the table. I walked up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder whilst attempting to hold back my own tears.. I sat down at the table and drifted off into space. James' shaking form eventually ceased and we simply sat at the table for the next twenty minutes before there was a knock at the door.

James made no sign that he had heard the door so I lifted myself up from the table and turned towards the hallway. The Potter's home looked strangely out of place. It was usually glowing with warmth, now however, it looked eternally cold. The formidable gloom of it reached into my core. It took me forever to get to the door. I really didn't care for whoever it was, I planned on telling them to go and take a hike into a dragon's nest, that was before I opened the door.

Jo looked like an absolute mess. His eyes were red and swollen as he collapsed into me. He gripped my shirt for support as he broke into tears. Caught off guard I did the only thing I could think of, I returned the gesture.

I tried to offer words of comfort but I couldn't. It's hard to offer words of hope to others when you don't even have any for yourself. I heard footsteps behind me and James appeared at my side. Jo saw this and went to James.

"I'm so sorry, Jo," James said, closing his eyes.

No one knew what to do. No one's brain was working. It had been four days and already she had cried ten times and woken up screaming in her sleep, all of this frightened her more, seeing as she didn't know how to deal with all of it. We were all taking turns to be with her. First it had been Mr and Mrs Potter, then Mr Potter had stayed with James and now it was my turn. I hadn't seen her in four whole days, my heart hadn't stopped pounding, just like my throat had continued to burn with un-shed tears of frustration. I felt so helpless. I would be staying the night with James at the hospital.

Over the last few days or so I had been spending more time with Jo. I felt a whole new range of pity for him, a muggle being pulled so quickly into the depths of our world and having to adjust so quickly for the sake of another. I had learned that a part of being a Ginatris meant that he felt whatever Charlie was feeling. I found this quite unnerving seeing as he would yelp out in grief in the middle of a conversation. But, then again, I found myself relying on him to tell me how she was doing. He was my only connection with her. I now fully understood why it would have been better for him to be with her, he felt what she felt, he would have known all the right words to say.

When Mr and Mrs Potter got home they immediately went to James, they knew that he couldn't wait to see her much longer. Neither could I.

"Don't push her James, alright?" Mrs Potter said.

"Of course, Mum." James and I walked over to the fireplace with our bags. I nodded goodbye to Jo before being transported to St. Mungo's.

We walked into her room quietly and expectantly. I didn't know what to expect . She was lying in her bed with a book in her hand. She looked up and her face broke into a smile at the sight of us.

"Hi!" She said pulling us both into a hug.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and gave her a smile when she released us.

"It's so nice to see you," she whispered. "You staying all night?" Charlie looked up at James from underneath her eyelashes.

"Yeah, all night Charlie,"he assured her squeezing her hand which she hadn't let go of.

Her face lit up and her eyes found mine. I couldn't seem to look away from her. The walls had collapsed, her eyes now sparkled and shimmered. I felt a pat on my shoulder and heard James mutter something like "going to set up the bed." It was just us now.

Charlie's smile grew as I came closer to her side. I sat down next to her and gripped her hand. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." My voice came out as a whisper and my forced smile wasn't hard to see through. "How are you?"

"How's Jo?"

I could tell that she'd been waiting to ask that for a while now.

"He's doing fine, I promise," I said stroking the side of her face gently. It was all I could do to help her it seemed. She smiled softly.

"Stay here for a while?" She asked, placing her hand on the side of my face. My skin prickled under her touch.

"Of course I will." I kissed her forehead and sat back. This was going to be the longest two weeks of my life.

We'd stayed there all afternoon. In that short time, Charlie had gone from laughing to screaming out in distress, begging that we bring Jo to her.

"Please! I need to see him!" She screamed at James.

"Charlie it's ok, we're here for you. Jo can't come, you know that." James looked at me, silently apologizing for having to see her like this. I gave him a look that clearly said "shut up" and made my way over to Charlie.

"Please, it's ok, he won't say anything to anybody, I promise!" Tears fell freely down her face. "Please!"

"Charlie. Charlie, listen to me," I said gripping her hands in mine. Her eyes fluttered up to meet mine. "Jo can't come, but we're here, and we want to help. Please let us help you. Everything will be alright," I pleaded with her. She sniffed before breaking into tears again, but this time they were tears of resignation and exhaustion. I brought her into my arms before looking around for James. He had left the room.

And now here I am, sitting in the dark. James had set up two beds for us but I never made it to mine. I'd fallen asleep in the chair next to Charlie's bed.

I looked over at the clock on the bedside table. It read four o'clock in the morning. I silently yawned and looked over to her, she was so peaceful now. She was so beautiful. I turned in the chair so that I could face her. I placed my hand on her face and stroked her cheek softly with my thumb. I head James' faint snore in the background and the gently ticking of the clock, other than that all I could hear was her gentle breaths.

She mumbled something before her breathing started to change. She shifted as her eyes fluttered open. Her eyes found mine after a few seconds, then a smile graced her lips.

"Hey."

"Hi," I whispered back. "Sorry for waking you," I said with a soft smile.

"That's ok. Really," Charlie added after seeing the look on my face. We both smiled at each other until she reached out and placed a hand on the side of my face, moving it through my hair, she gave a soft chuckle. "Do you remember when you cut your hair?"

I nodded, cringing at the memory of my mother putting a spell on my hair so that it was immune to my attempts at trying to re-grow it.

"I really hated that hair cut," she laughed into the darkness. My face strained to make a smile and even then, it only lasted a second or two.

"Are you scared?" I asked softly.

She looked at me and took a moment before answering in a whisper. "A little bit." I took her hand. "It'll be ok though, I promise."

"How can you promise me something like that?" My heart started to pound with anger, I knew that it wasn't going to be ok.

"I can't." She smiled. I couldn't understand how she could be so calm about this. As if seeing my distress she said, "come here," before pulling me into her. My hands found her hair and I clung to her, never wanting to let go. I pulled back and looked at her for a moment before pulling her back into me. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. The kiss was full of passion yet it was so incredibly soft and gentle. It was like we melded together, we were a perfect fit, a match made in heaven. It seemed to last forever, but I only wished that it could.

Over the next five days I kept up the visits. Though every time I saw her, I'd wish that I could rewind time so that I could see Charlie when she was feeling, well, herself. It was getting worse, and what made my blood boil is that no one knew what to do about it. Apparently no one was near qualified to handle the situation because there was only about four people who had this condition in the whole world. But that wasn't the worst of it…

I was lying in bed staring up at the roof. I drifted away from reality and I couldn't see myself moving from this position for a long time, if ever. That was not to be, however. My eyes did not leave the roof but I knew who had just walked in the room. The room seemed to get a whole lot darker. He sighed after he placed himself on the end of my bed and put his face into his hands. I didn't want to say anything, but I had to.

"How is she?"

James looked straight ahead and out of the window as he spoke. "Not too good, Pads." He took a shaky breath before continuing. "The healers say… she – she doesn't have long," he paused to take another shaky breath. "She, um, she wants to see you." His voice was forced and choked.

My brain went into over-drive and my chest became heavy. I knew, or at least I think I knew what James was saying. But it couldn't be true. It couldn't. I roboticly sat up and looked at the side of James' face. I didn't blink, some how, not blinking made it seen real, this was a harsh reality, but it was reality all the same, I needed to face this.

"James, what are you saying?" He didn't look at me so I kept going, assuming the worst. "They said that… that." My voice faded until it became nothing. I couldn't believe it. James' silence only confirmed my fears. "They said that she'd have longer than this," I whispered. I wasn't talking to James any more, I wasn't even talking to myself I don't think. "Is this going to be the…" my voice hitched in m throat as my chest and throat became tighter. I pushed on. "The last time?"

I watched carefully as James slowly nodded his head, as if it was causing him a great deal of pain to do so. That was the last straw, James broke down and slumped forward. I reached out to him and put my arm around his shaking form.

I did not want to do this.

I stepped into the room. My eyes immediately found hers. There were black blotches under her eyes and her cheeks looked hollow. Mrs Potter turned to look at me from over her shoulder. She patted her daughter lightly on the arm before getting up. She gave me a soft smile and a nod as she walked past. My heart went out Mr and Mrs Potter more than ever. I had found out from Jo, who knew more about Charlie's condition then anyone, that there were some emotions that were just too strong for Charlie to express. She will never be able to tell anyone that she lovs them. My heart had dropped when I heard this. I couldn't imagine what the Potter's were going through.

I sat next to Charlie and studied her face. I wanted to soak in her face so I would never forget it. She hadn't taken her eyes away from me once, she hadn't blinked, it was as if she knew exactly what was running through my head as she reached out and put her hand on top of my own. I looked back to her eyes and forced a smile.

"Hey," I said softly.

She let out a soft laugh. "Why do we always start off like this?"

I couldn't help but smile a long with her. Her smile was so genuine. I didn't want to loose this.I couldn't loose this. Not when I had just found it. I took a long rattled breath.

"Well… What happens now?" My eyes went to her hands, clasped in mine. My eyes snapped up to hers as soon as she started to talk.

"Well," she started. "You'll probably graduate Hogwarts. Top of your year…" Her smile grew as she went on. "You'll become an Auror and become a famous hero…" She paused, becoming a little bit more serious. "You'll be best man at James and Lily's wedding, and try to shower and comb your hair, you know how Lily is…" She smiled again. "Then you have to promise me that you'll look after Harry for me."

"Harry?"

"Yeah, I always thought that Harry Potter had a nice ring to it. It'll be up to James and Lily in the end, but you never know." She stopped and reached up and touched my face. "Then after you're tired of catching the bad guys, you'll sit in your arm chair… grow grey hairs…tell stories."

"And I'll come to you with open arms," I finished. Charlie furrowed her brow.

"Sirius,don't –"

"No, Charlie, listen. Please," I said, taking her hand and squeezing it. Then I left all self-control behind me and let my heart talk. "You are my saviour. You kept me floating when I was in a sea of creatures who would rather pull me down with them. You kept my heart beating when I was in waters that could make it freeze in an instant. You kept me safe. I'm sorry that it's taken so long to see that you're my angel."


	17. Finals

17: Finals

_I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all_

_**-'Your Guardian Angel' by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus**_

We had two more wonderful days with her. Then she left. I have spent the last twenty-odd years staring into her eyes every time I close my eyes. She has never left my thoughts.

The funeral was beautiful. Ironically it was the sunniest day of the season. The flowers were blooming in every colour. I had wished that it would be the opposite. I wanted the world to realise what it had lost, what I had lost.

I woke feeling so happy that day. It wasn't until I walked into the dining room and saw Jo slumped over the kitchen table did I realise that something was wrong. That was the day she left. I was so happy and I didn't know why. For that I was overcome with guilt. I felt so guilty that I had to eave the Potters. I had felt _happy_ when their child had just… I needed to leave. I had enough money to buy myself a house. It wasn't to far from the cemetery, which is where we all came together shortly afterwards.

I stood by her grave for so long even after the funeral had ended. A part of me died with her and I could never get it back. Everyone had gone home except for James and Jo.

It was as if half of Jo had gone a long with her. He had stopped talking, eating. At the funeral the first thing he did was run up to James and envelope him in a hug, tears running freely down his face and his breaths coming out in short rasps. I stepped back. What ever I was feeling, I knew that Jo was feeling ten times as worse.

So there we all were, staring blankly at her white tombstone. I read and re-read the inscription a thousand times, wishing for it to be true.

Charlie Maurene Potter

Born: December 2nd 1961

Died: February 7th 1977

"To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die."

Rest In Peace

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "She really did love you, you know."

I didn't look up. Jo removed his hand from my shoulder, though he didn't move away. I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my head.

"How the hell would you know?" I spat in a spurt of anger and confusion and anger that burnt my throat came out in my words.

"Because I felt it," he snapped back. He took a breath. "Every time she saw you or talked about, even when you were at school, I could feel her happiness. She felt like she belonged with you, like it just fit."

I felt like beaming though I couldn't, not whilst I was staring where I was.

"D'you know something?" Jo and I turned to stare at James. His grin seemed to be quite genuine though it didn't seem to reach his eyes. "We make a pretty good team, us three."

I looked from James to Jo. I couldn't help but think that what he had said was true. Over the past year or so we had come together to create some of the best pranks ever and some all-round good times. Though we were all connected by one thing, and now with her gone I couldn't help but to think what would happen to our friendship.

So it was decided that the three of us would come together once a year in this place to thank the person who had brought us closer together.

That was our promise.


	18. Final Beginnings

_**Hey everyone. So here it is, the last chapter of my first fan fiction. I'm soo happy and glad to all the people who have stuck by this, although it's taken such a long time. I dedicate this entire story to Nicholas Sparks and his book "A Walk to Remember." If you haven't heard of this I suggest you go out and get the movie and the book. **_

_**Thanks again.**_

_**SLL**_

18: Final Beginnings

_To be only yours  
I pray to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope_

_**- 'Only Hope' by Switchfoot/Mandy Moore**_

Harry looked up at his godfather with a new-found respect and admiration. His mind was still taking in his story. Throughout it Harry felt like he had actually met his aunt and gotten to know her over the space of a story. Harry looked down at the picture and then back up to Sirius. The man's eyes had not left the photograph for quite some time. His eyes had glazed over with unshed tears.

"What happened to Jo?" Harry asked quietly.

"Well soon after the funeral James and I joined the Order. We all came together on the first anniversary, but we missed the second and then the third, and well, I think you know the rest."

Harry nodded numbly at this statement. He knew that soon after his parents died, Sirius had spent the next twelve years in Azkaban prison. There was a calm silence that fell between the two until they heard their names being called for dinner.

As Harry sat at the table at Grimmauld Place he looked around at all the familiar faces. At one end of the table was the man who gave everything a push for the better, Remus Lupin. Sitting two seats up from Harry was the friend who stepped back gracefully, Nymphadora Tonks. Most importantly was the man who fell in love all too late. But something wasn't right. In Harry's opinion the picture wasn't complete. He vowed that some day he would find the missing piece.

_Twenty One Years Later_

Harry Potter walked through the front door of Godric's Hallow accompanied by his wife and their youngest child, Lily. Harry grinned as he listened to his wife tell Lily that she only had two more years left until she would be able to join her brothers at Hogwarts, who they had just seen off. He was just about to help reassure his daughter that she would go when he heard his mane being called. He saw a pair of hairy ears making their way towards him.

"Master Harry, sir. Kreacher has it, sir. Kreacher has the address, sir." Kreacher took a long breath as he held a piece of worn paper in front of him. It had obviously been ripped from some where.

Harry's eyes became as wide as saucers and a smile as broad as a rainbow covered his face as he realised what this meant. The room became quiet and still as Ginny heard and had a reaction similar to that of her husbands.

Harry turned to his wife. "I have to go, Gin."

Ginny nodded enthusiastically "I know, I know. You should go," she said with a smile. She ushered him out of the house. She'd known how long her husband had been waiting for this moment and what it meant to him. She watched him grin excitedly before turning on the spot and vanishing with a loud clap.

Harry looked down from the street sign and focused on the row of houses that stood before him. It looked like a fairly normal street. There were a few children playing in the front yard of the closest house. Harry started to walk down the street, counting the house numbers as he went. He stopped in front of number fourteen. His breath caught in his throat as he walked up to the front door.

His heart pounded, knocking on his rib cage just as he was knocking on the door and it almost stopped when the door opened. Harry could do nothing but stand and stare at the man in front of him. He was shaken out of it when the man asked if he could help him. Harry spoke the words that he had been wanting to say for twenty one years.

"Mr Hastington? I'm Harry, sir, Harry Potter."


End file.
